I haven't been keeping up with my blog because I've been so busy. I'm at a point now where it's all getting to me. Some nights are good, others I don't get any sleep. Like last night. I only got 2 hours at a time. Both girls were up on and off throughout the night. So of course I was extremely tired today. I went to a play date, pretty late, and I was hoping it would tire the girls out. I got them to bed at 7:30 and they went down easy. Only to wake again at 11. Both woke and were screaming. Then I start freaking out because I'm exhausted, and can't soothe both at once. I was able to get them both into their chairs and get them bottles, which helped, but by this point we were all crying.
I called hubby in the middle of this, but he wasn't any help. He's in a tough spot because he can't leave work really, but I also can't do this by myself sometimes. But I do think he blows it off more than he should. Now I'm crying again- he does a LOT, more than his share, but lately I just...can't. It's like I've given all I can give and I have nothing left for keeping up w/ housework.
I'm going to blame some of this on my psychiatrist. I'm now up to 50 mg on Paxil and obviously, it isn't working. I need to get on a different medication I think. But it's weird because I'll be fine on it and then something will happen, or maybe a series of things happen, and I just can't deal with it. And I'm blaming him because he doesn't do any therapy. It's all about the drugs- that's the only focus. Which now having gone through this, I don't think is effective.