Monday, March 31, 2008
I called the doctor about the depression things and he told me to take B6 and see if that helps. If it doesn't, I have to call him back. I also talked to the nurse about it and she had me take a quiz and I was borderline. She also told me that it takes about 2-3 weeks for the hormones to level off, but since I was borderline, she could come back in 2 weeks to check on me. I also scheduled a therapist appointment for next week, so I will be ok. But honestly, letting the pumping go has really lifted a huge weight.
Time to go try to get some rest!
Saturday, March 29, 2008
I had a bad night last night. I think I forgot to write about other issues that are affecting me. I have been getting a fever every day in the afternoon/evening time. It sucks! I feel feverish, have chills when my temp goes up, and just feel awful. That, plus twins is really hard. I can't seem to function well when I have the temperature. I called the doc, but I'm not having any other symptoms. I'm also not having any symptoms of mastitis! He said to keep an eye on it. I was a little confused because it is concerning if you have temp of 100.5 for a while. Well, I've been taking meds which brings the fever down. So, is it that they are concerned about your temp if it is that high while on meds?
I had been taking some vicodin, which has acetometaphin in it, but last night I switched to straight tylenol. It didn't work so well! I felt awful all night. Wonderful hubby took an evening feeding, but of course I felt guilty that I didn't breastfeed or pump. I was getting worried about my temp last night because the tylenol wasn't bringing it down that much, and I felt like crap. But then, like every night, my fever magically disappears in the middle of the night. I took tylenol for the last time at 11 pm and when I woke for a feeding at 2:30, my temp was down and it has stayed down!! I think I am going to record exactly what time the temp shows up today. It is so weird and it is really freaking me out.
So, add that to the girls were getting fussy last night and not wanting to sleep - well really Maya was waking Sofia up! Me being paranoid about my temp, and not getting much sleep, and I was a wreck! It doesn't help that I have depression and anxiety anyway! So I think I might go to a post partum support group this week while I still have some help at home (mother in law arrives today). I don't really like groups. I'm not extroverted at all and I normally don't like sharing my problems with strangers, well except for here! :) I will probably also call my therapist. I want to avoid meds though. But if I need them, I will take them.
Thanks for all your comments! I went to Kelly Mom and there is a plan for reducing formula which seems really good. I'm going to print it out and see what the pediatrician says.
Friday, March 28, 2008
I have some major frustrations. I had always planned on breastfeeding. Only. Formula was not even in my mind. Sure, I knew there could be a possibility, but I didn't think about it. I wanted to think positive and I thought if I didn't think about formula, then no way it could happen! Well, I have to supplement with formula. That alone depresses me a little, but I could deal with it. But what I have to do for each feeding is very overwhelming! First, I breastfeed. At first, I was breastfeeding one at a time, which took forever. Next, I have to formula feed. Again, at first I was doing that one at a time and to feed both it took like 2 hours! I did begin to tandem feed, which helps a lot, but it is still a struggle and can be difficult! My last part of feedings is pumping. I hate pumping. Actually, I think I hate having to do all 3 things. Why can't I just breastfeed???
My milk isn't all the way in. I get about 2 tablespoons per pumping session. I'm mad at myself for not pumping more in the hospital. I'm mad at the hospital for not fully explaining how much I needed to pump. I didn't even get to see a lactation consultant until the next day because I didn't get to my room until about 8 pm! I'm also mad that I had no idea just how sleepy my girls would be. I knew babies were sleepy the first night, and for most babies that is ok. But mine were also sleepy because they were little and have stayed sleepy until recently!
In one way I wished I would have only breastfed in the hospital, but Maya needed to put on weight. Sofia needed to get her jaundice resolved because she was borderline high. I keep wondering if I had done things differently maybe my sdupply would be in? But that is all over with and I can't change it.
Now I am taking a supplement - More Milk Plus, and I rented a hospital grade pump. I am SO sick of pumping though. The girls have now become more fussy so it's very difficult for me to pump after I feed them when they are fussy. I also feel bad because I feel like I don't spend enough time with each of them. I hold them for feedings every 3 hours, and I hold them for a little while after they feed, but then I put them down, pump, and sleep. Sometimes I don't sleep since the whole routine can take 2 hours!
Which leads me to my next frustration. Which, it's actually not too bad because my husband is really wonderful and I couldn't do this without him. But he has frustrated me a little. The pediatrician has told us that I do need to take care of myself and I need to sleep. He suggested for the night feedings we take shifts. So, we tried it last night. I did the 9:00 feeding, Hubby was to do the 1 am feeding, and I would do the 5 am feeding. After I fed the girls, I got to bed around 11:30pm. The girls were pretty fussy - this time of night is their fussy time. At about 1:30 I wake up because Maya was fussing. Hubby was with Sofia in the living room, feeding her. I got up to see what was going on since it was feeding time for both. Hubby was frustrated with Maya since she had been up all night. He had tried feeding her some at 12:45, she didn't want it, etc. Now, he didn't want to deal with her.
Well, welcome to my world!!!!
There have been plenty of nights where I let him sleep because I wanted him to at least be partially rested in order to do errands and things. And the girls are often fussy. Sometimes they don't sleep much between feedings! So, I fed Maya some more, rocked her, and put her to sleep. I think hubby did feel bad - it really didn't take much to get her to sleep - but I was just so frustrated!
The other thing that frustrates me is when he gets plenty of sleep - like 5 hours straight - and then the next day acts all sleepy. I'm sure he is sleepy, but I have had much less sleep and it is just frustrating to see that.
Now, don't get me wrong. He has been GREAT! I couldn't ask for a better husband. But nobody is perfect, and those are just 2 minor frustrations. I can't imagine what I would do if I was married to someone who didn't help at all.
I'm going to talk to the pediatrician more next week about reducing the formula intake, but I think he wants me to keep it up until my supply comes in. But then, is keeping them on formula going to make my supply not come in? I don't want them to start losing weight though.
Monday, March 24, 2008
I was scheduled for an induction on March 20th, but hoping I would go into labor on my own! Luckily, that happened! I went to bed Sunday March 16th, woke up at about 2 am to pee and when I stood up, I felt a small gush. I thought, ok that was either my water breaking or some discharge – which I had been having more of. I went to the bathroom and it had soaked through my liner, so I knew! It also kept trickling down me after I went to the bathroom. I couldn’t believe it!
I got DH up, I took a shower, we made sure we had everything and went in. Now, I was a little nervous about going in at night because both times I had been at night previously I had the worst night nurses. This time, however, they were great! I was hooked up to the monitors and I was contracting, but they weren’t hurting – just uncomfortable as they had been for weeks. My blood pressure was also high, but I’m pretty sure it was because I was nervous! I was also about to ask if they did have the instructions to call my doctor for delivery, but they came in and let me know they did have that. I was nervous about that since the week prior to that they did not have that info.
Finally I was admitted and taken to the labor and delivery room! A nurse came in to give me my iv, and this was probably one of the worst parts. She stuck me TWICE and couldn’t get it. The other nurse came in, found another vein and got it in perfectly – finally! The on-call doctor came to check on me, and we waited awhile to see if my contractions would start up. I also wanted to wait until 7 am to start pitocin, if needed, because I really wanted my doctor to be around. A little later, the on call doctor came back, my contractions were not doing anything, so she said she would start the pitocin. I had to tell her to wait until 7, which was fine. She was just thinking I wanted to get on with it!
At 7, they started the pitocin. It wasn’t bad at first, finally started getting some good contractions which got stronger. It was funny because I was fine between contractions. During the contraction, it hurt, but not super bad – definitely different than what I had imagined but not worse. It was hard for me to decide about getting the epidural since the pain wasn’t super bad at the time, but it was getting worse and really what did it was that I was contracting frequently and I thought how am I going to deal with hours of contractions with little rest in between? So I got the epidural, which I was most nervous about. I didn’t like getting it. I also jumped a little!!! Which of course scared me. I wasn’t expecting all the pressure – even though he had said there would be pressure. But then it was done and I was fine and getting pain relief!
You would think at this point I could relax, but no way! I kept worrying about things and getting anxious and excited, so no rest for me! I had DH call our childbirth class instructor because she had said she would love to be there for the birth. DH left her a message, and I hoped she would get it! At around noon, my doctor came in to check on me and said I would start pushing at 1:15!
Finally, it was time to push! That was difficult with the epidural and I couldn’t even move my legs even though I had tried to let it wear off. Thankfully, my childbirth class instructor showed up, and she was a GREAT help! DH was also fabulous with his counting and support! Now, the whole time I’m pushing I could only think: I HOPE I am making progress because I DO NOT want a c-section!!! Then, the nurses would check me and tell me I was doing great and making progress, but I didn’t believe them, I kept thinking, they are only saying this to make me feel better!! I pushed for about 2 hours and the doctor was called in! I also got to see the head when it was visible. I never thought I would want to see that, but it was a HUGE motivator and really helped me.
As soon as the doctor showed up, it was pretty crazy, all these people rush in and break the bed apart, lights come down, and you know this is it! I pushed some more and finally
Maya had some blood sugar issues – she was borderline low, so they had to feed her formula to get that up. Luckily her blood sugar came up and she did not have to go to the NICU!
Giving birth was an amazing experience, and I am so glad and thankful that I did get to experience it.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Maya Louise was born at 3:21 pm weighing 6 lbs 1 oz.
Sofia Marie was born at 3:24 pm weighing 4 lbs 8 oz.
Both were delivered vaginally, and I got to deliver in the regular labor room!! My doctor rocks!!!
We had slight issues with Maya being small and Sofia has some jaundice, so I have to supplement w/ formula for now. But my ped. and LCs are confident they will both go to breast no problem!
So, super busy feeding 2 and then pumping!! Will post later w/ more details.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
I called Triage and they just said it was normal, of course. They also said it was probably because of the exam, but honestly, I've been having internals for how many months now?? And I've never even spotted with any of them until now.
Well, hopefully it is a good sign that I might go on my own! Come on girls!!
I also started spotting after the exam, which I know is normal, but I have never spotted before. I wonder if he stripped my membranes without telling me? It doesn't seem like something he'd do, but who knows. I did leave a message about the spotting, just to make sure that it's ok.
I really hope I go into labor on my own because I know a chance for a c-section is higher w/ induction. Then again, I'm also a little worried about how both of their heads are right next to each other. I hope they don't block each other from coming down! I know in the end I will have my babies, but I am scared of a c-section and I really don't want to have to deal with that recovery.
I can't believe I have a week (or less!) left!!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
I think it would have been better if my doctor hadn't said he thought I'd go in a couple weeks. Now I'm just anxious. So, I'm going to let go. It will happen soon enough! Thursday I have my appointment and will schedule my induction, and then at least I'll have a date that I know they will come by!
I am getting super bored at home though. I also don't want to go shopping because then I spend money! I try calling a friend of mine, but of course she doesn't have time to talk to me. Sometimes I wonder why I stay her friend. She annoys me a LOT of the time.
Teachers in my district will start getting pink slips this week. I'm hoping I won't get one. I'm still not sure because I don't know how many years they will go up to. Plus, my years are confusing. My first year I worked as a long term sub, but I worked the entire year. They should have given me a temporary contract, but never did. So, my pay reflects 6 years, but my evaluation reflects 5 years. I'm also a part of a grant, so I don't know if they will take that into consideration as well. I'm hoping I don't get one because that would just be stressful right now.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Yesterday I went for a walk, and also did shopping. Also, a friend of mine told me to eat eggplant parmigiana from a certain restaurant. She did this and went into labor, and a friend of hers also did this and went into labor a few hours later. Did that work for me? Nope!! Today, went for a walk, did shopping, had sex, and nothing. A few contractions, but nothing major.
It's getting very difficult to get around. My pubic bone is killing me and they are very heavy! I'm definitely ready for them!
Sunday, March 09, 2008
"You may have to be patient now- think, listen, and heed signs."
I thought that was pretty funny :) Although, by telling me to be patient, does that mean I'm going to have to wait longer?? Because I'm not very patient!
I did lose part of my mucous plug last night. No blood or anything in it, just looked like snot. Wasn't very much either. I'm hoping it's a good sign of more dilation!
Friday, March 07, 2008
I'm still so upset about this.
I'm going to write about my appointment today, although it feels weird for me to do that in light of everything that has happened.
It was a good appointment. Dr. O did not do an internal and I was surprised. He said I was probably only 3.5 cm or at the most 4 cm dilated anyway, so no need. He did a quick ultrasound and they are both still head down. What was funny was that both of their heads are right there, right next to each other. Usually one will be a little higher up, but not my girls! They are both fighting to come out first I think!
He was surprised I hadn't gone into labor yet, and he thinks I will soon - as do I. But we did talk about what we could do if nothing happens by my appointment next week. He told me that this would be up to me, but he could schedule me to break my water and that usually will induce labor. Then, if contractions don't start he could use pitocin. I was glad that he didn't jump to pitocin right away. He also said he was only suggesting this because my cervix is ready. If i was not dilated or anything he would just wait because there is a greater risk for a c-section that way. I just love him!
Originally I wanted it all to just happen naturally. But quite honestly, after what happened yesterday I just want my babies out and safe, so I think we will go ahead with the induction if we haven't gone naturally by next week. So, within the next 2 weeks, the girls will be here!
Answers to questions from Donna:
Some doctors don't like to go full term because they think twins do better if delivered by 38 weeks. I did some research, and there is nothing that says they do better or worse if they go over 38 weeks. This is also what my doctor told me today. He left it totally up to me, and wouldn't have even mentioned it if I wasn't dilated and effaced. Originally, I was just going to wait, but after what happened, I don't want to wait. But I have a feeling they will be here before I have to do that.
Yeah, I'm not sure about the heads!! I'm sure that one is a bit closer because they can feel 1 head when they do an internal, so they are not exactly in the same spot, but much closer than heads usually are! Plus, they are in their own sacks, so I'm sure that whichever is sack is right there will be the one coming out first.
Last time I had a growth scan was at 34 weeks, or right before 34 weeks. They were 4 lbs. 10 oz and 4 lbs. 9 oz I believe - if I'm remembering correctly! So hopefully they are over 5 lbs right now!
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Hello Kitty humidifier!
Car seats in the Double Snap N Go
A peek into the closet
And, my 34 week belly pic, taken about 2 weeks ago
Edited to add:
I decided on the Snap N Go because I figured that would be soooooo much easier! I tried the Graco Duoglider, and it was so heavy! Way too heavy for me, and I didn't think it would fit in my car (I have a Jetta). So, I got the snap n go and for later I have the Maclaren Twin Techno. It's a side by side that is light, steers REALLY well, and has gotten great reviews! I tried many side by sides and this by far had the best steering. It also fits easily in the trunk of my car with plenty of room to spare!
Michelleann: My OB will let me go to 40 weeks if I make it that far! He said most twins come early, and many people are just done by 38 weeks because they are so uncomfortable, but he is fine with letting me go longer. I did some research because I know a lot of doctors won't let twin moms go past 38 weeks, but there is nothing that says the outcomes are better either way. I prefer to just let them come when they are ready!
Monday, March 03, 2008
I called my doctor's office today to see if they had faxed my chart over to the hospital. Some weird stuff was going on with my chart! In early Feb., the nurse faxed my chart because the due date on it said March 30th. Now, this was before my Dr. had written the note on my chart about calling him when I go into labor. Then, the nurse told me that she couldn't just fax the updated one because they use some computerized system over there, and it would "confuse" the system. Great! The other funny part is the person at the hospital who gets the charts is like a third party. Labor and Delivery is not allowed to access the computer with all this info because then they would have access to my whole medical group's records. Oh the horror! So it has to go through this other person. What a pain! So first the nurse said she could give me a copy of the chart so I could just take it in when I deliver. Later, she called back and it turns out my doctor is on call tomorrow so he is going to deliver my chart to them.
It also makes me feel good knowing he is on call tomorrow because if I did go into labor tonight, then there would be no problems at all when I went in tomorrow! But then he is out of town for 2 days, so I really hope they decide to stay put until Friday! I also have an appointment on Friday. I'll be interested to see if I've dilated any more.
It's getting really boring at home. I ca only sit at the computer so long because of my pregnancy induced carpal tunnel syndrome! I've been watching some movies, and tv is getting old. I wish the writer's strike would have ended sooner! I am also not going anywhere because I don't want to go into labor, and it is just really difficult to get around! My pubic bone now hurts every time I stand up. I'm sure it is from Sofia's head! Also, if I stand for too long (like 5 min.) I get a lot of pressure in my cervix. So, it is boring! But I know they will be here soon and I will be far from bored! :)