Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Give Away on Multiples and More

Wanted to let any other multiple moms out there know that they are having a great Melissa & Doug giveaway on Multiples and More! Here is the link
Mulitples and More M&D Giveaway
I suck. I know. How long has it been since I updated??? Anyway, we are doing well! Being back in the classroom full time and taking care of twin toddlers takes up every minute of my time. I don't recommend it. I would love it if I could work part time. But that is just not a possibility right now.

Here is my typical day:
2:00 am alarm for hubby goes up. I nudge him, tell him to get up. This goes on for about 20 min.
4:30 am wake up, shower, dress
5:00 eat breakfast, drink coffee check emails in blissfull silence (most of the time)
6:00 wake the girls up, get them dressed and ready to go
6:15 out the door on the way to day care
6:35 drop the girls off and go to work, arrive by 7 am
I then teach middle schoolers from 7:30 am-11:57 without a break.
2:30 school is out and I usually have detention or meetings.
3:00ish drive home to pick up hubby so we both can pick up the girls. It is SO much easier to have him there. Otherwise, I have to wrangle them into the stroller which they do not like.
4:30 get home, have a couple minutes before starting dinner
5:00 feed the girls, and sometimes us at the same time
6:00 bed for the girls
Then I have a couple hours I can grade papers, plan, or spend time on the internet. Then I usually go to bed by 8:30 at the latest.

I do love my school breaks though. Right now is Winter Break, and it is great! Plus, even though I'm super busy with teaching, being back in the classroom is so much more fulfilling than trying to help teachers. I'm much happier even though I have no time.

The girls are doing great! They are talking so much! Sofia can say short sentences, sing parts of songs, count to ten, it is amazing! I was worried about Maya's language for a little bit, but she is really taking off too. They are so much fun right now when they aren't throwing tantrums! They can tell me if they like something, they like to help out by throwing their diapers away, they rock!


Saturday, August 29, 2009

Responses to my last post

Rebecca- I agree somewhat. I am not totally against unions, but it is so "funny" to me how the weak teachers tend to be the union reps as well. And she was one. I do think having protection against horrible admin is a must though. I have seen some really scary admin.

Jennifer- unfortunately since it is a small school, she is the only history teacher, so I will have to work with her somewhat. But that's fine. If she is rude to me, I'll give it right back. I really feel sorry for the students though. But, I'd rather deal with her than the crazies I had been dealing with in my last position!

I will take pics next week and post them.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

I got to see my new classroom today!! I was hoping for a room w/ a/c, but that didn't happen. That's ok, most of the schools don't have a/c anyway. But I'm just hoping it cools off. Today it is 10 am and already 98 degrees!

My room is huge and has a good amount of storage space. I also have a sink and water fountain in it, so that is very nice. The BSS told me I will be moving classrooms in February, and I am so grateful for him telling me. Usually, things like this don't get mentioned! I still need a lot of stuff in my room like bookshelves, a screen, document camera/projector, but hopefully I will be getting those. Worst case scenario I start the year with none of it. Which I don't want that to happen, but I will survive if it does. I am totally different from how I used to be at the start of a school year. Before, I would be stressing and wanting my classroom to look perfect before the first day. Now, I'm not so stressed. It will be functional and look nice, but if I don't have all the books out or everything in place, I'm ok with that.

The bad news is I just found out I will be teaching with a teacher who I have tried to work with for the past 3 years. She was at one of the schools I was assigned to, and quite honestly, she is awful. She is one of the worst teachers I have ever seen, and even worse, she has NO desire to get better. She is a union rep just so she can get days off- and she takes all of her union days. She goes to professional developments just so she can get out of the classroom and shows up late to the professional developments. She even was falling asleep one afternoon in one of them! She didn't like me because I have blond hair and blue eyes, and just simply refused to even try to work with me. Not to mention how awful she was to quite a few of my students. And now, I will be working closely with her. Joy. At least now we will be on equal terms and I don't really have to watch what I say to her. I mean, of course I'm not going to be mean or anything, but I will be able to be more direct. I just hope the year goes ok.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Thanks for the reassurance Teridr! I did recently write down all of the words the girls are saying and repeating. If I include mom/mommy and dad/daddy, Maya is saying 4 words on her own. Now, she also used to say "dog" but she hasn't said that in a few months. Sofia, on the other hand, is saying about 9 words and repeating about 4 others, probably more since she tries to repeat a LOT of what we say! But I have noticed that Maya is babbling more. I'm not too worried, I have a feeling she is fine, but I am still going to ask about EI. Can't hurt!

Here are some new photos:
Still Rear Facing at 17 months!

I start work again soon! I am excited since I will be back in the classroom and at a new school, but I will miss my girls! I know I am going to feel like I am missing so much since they are growing and developing daily. But my new school is year round, so that means I get more breaks throughout the year, which is nice. It won't all be saved up for summer. I think I will like that, although in the winter I will have to work intersession (like summer school) to make up for the extra days I will need to work.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Wow, I haven't updated in a long time! It has been busy around here. Toddlers are very active! We have to get out of the house at least once a day. Otherwise we all go crazy. One day a week we have a Babies Boogie class, which they LOVE! The other days we go to playdates, go to a park, go out to some stores- whatever- just to get out.

I like taking them to a park or a play date because then they can get out and run around, but taking them to a park by myself is a lot of work, and stressful. They always run in opposite directions. If I am with another mom, it is easier since it is an extra set of eyes and hands. So, we are pretty busy all day! If we are at home, they usually want me to read to them, play with them, hold them, or just sit in the play room next to them while they play. There is plenty of whining too! The computer area is in the playroom, but blocked off with a gate. The girls do not like it if I am sitting there! They want me to be on the same side of the gate as them. And this gate we have has these little areas that are predict size and shape for them to put a foot on and climb up. All day long I am telling them to get down and removing them. I say "Down" so often that now S. says "down!" and points down like I do. It's pretty cute. Especially when M. was trying to climb in the cupboard, and S. kept telling her, "Down!"

S. is saying and repeating a lot of words and sounds! She has a few words she can say on her own, and her favorite thing to do now is repeat words we say to her. Today, I wanted her to say "diaper". It came out as "biper" and was so cute! I'm a little concerned about M. though. She really is not saying much. She can say "mama" "mommy" "dada" "daddy"- but do those even count?? She says "Hi" and that's really all she says on her own. She has repeated "doggy" but not much else. She likes to sign though, so I know that is a good sign. At their 18 month appointment, if she hasn't started saying more words I am going to request Early Intervention. It certainly can't hurt!

Saturday, August 01, 2009


Multiples and More is having a giveaway! You can win a gift certificate to a twin boutique. The boutique is owned by a MoM and has tons of great stuff! check it out!
Multiples and More Giveaway

Monday, July 27, 2009

My day care issue is solved! I was really getting anxious. I interviewed a few nannies, and just didn't feel right with any of them. I then was going to visit an in-home place until a friend told me about her horrible experience with them! Then, on a whim I typed in to google day care and the city and this one popped up. I also saw that it is NAEYC accredited- which friends said are always good. So I visited and instantly felt like it was the right place. I loved the lead teacher, loved all the developmentally appropriate toys they had, and lots of books, lots of artwork. So I am signing them up! So glad that is taken care of and so glad I found a place I like! The only thing is, they only take 18 months+, and the girls won't be 18 months until Sept. 17th. So, they are calling to see if they can take them Sept. 1 since they will be turning the right age that month. I think I go back to work that same day, and I was hoping to drop them off before I started work, to get them used to it. Oh well.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Thanks everyone :) At least I'm not alone! S. could be cranky from teething. Her last 1 year molar is breaking through- ugh. Tonight was an experience! They were totally cranky ALL DAY. So I put them down, and of course there was screaming. But then I heard M. really screaming- which normally doesn't happen. So I go in their room, and what do I find? S. has M's paci!! I give it back to M., give them, kisses, say goodnight, and leave. More screaming. More M. screaming. Great. Go back in. S, once again has M's paci. So I separate them. M. went right to sleep and S. screamed for about 10-15 min. I really need to get to bed in case she thinks it would be a good idea to wake up.

Good ideas about posting an ad at the colleges. I will try that as well. I'm just so nervous I think about anyone I don't know coming into our house to care for them. But that would be so much easier than having to take them to day care early in the mornings.
Not a good day today. I haven't slept much in the past 2 nights. Last night, S. first wouldn't go to sleep. I tried to lie down with her, but she just wanted to get up. Finally, she did get some sleep, but every time I tried to put her in her crib she would scream, waking M. up. So it was this nasty cycle all night long. I tried once again around 4:30 am to put S. down in her crib and again, screaming. Then M. woke up, screaming, and I freaked. Hubby was no help, but that's fine. He had just gotten home from working 12 hours and had to be up a couple hours later to take his snake to the vet. I decided to get them up and give them breakfast, let them play. They were tired by a little after 6 so I put them down and they are now, thankfully, sleeping. No, I can't also sleep right now. Hubby is in bed and has to get up soon anyway, so that would wake me up. I will sleep later.

It's getting to a really bad point though. DH is going to see his cousin this weekend. He told me about it a month ago, but never reminded me until yesterday that he was going. He is taking Friday and Saturday off to go up there. At first I didn't mind, but now I really do. He has been away a few times this year. I have not. Whenever I do get to do something, it is only for a few hours. For example, I had a spa party the other day. I told DH about it quite awhile ago. Earlier last week I even reminded him, but he put it out of his mind. So, he had to go into work on Sat., the day of the spa party. I was counting on him not working so I could get the house ready and everything. But no. He had to work. He got home late and took the girls, which was great, and I had a good time at the party. But it was only for a few hours, and they returned right when I was getting my massage so all I heard during the massage was babies screaming. I have never been able to just get away, or even just stay home, with no worries of the girls. If we are both at home, I am the "default" caregiver. He does not take initiative to do anything and quite honestly, it is getting to me. Anytime we try to talk about things, he gets defensive, doesn't listen, and turns it back around on me. I'm sick of that.

Yes, I know we need to get counseling. We are planning on it.

On top of all this, I need to find a nanny. I cannot pay the crazy amounts that a lot of people are willing to pay. Looking on Craigslist, well, that just makes me nervous even though I guess I should just try it.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Thanks for the comments on the naps! Lately, the girls have been taking 2 naps. 2 long naps! So for now, I will keep them at 2 naps, except for the day we have our music class! They absolutely love this class. At the end, they have a parachute and the instructor warned us that some kids get scared. I was thinking mine might get scared. I was wrong! S. totally loved the parachute. She was in the middle of the mat looking up and saying, "Ooh! Ooh!" It was so damn cute. M. also liked it, but wasn't quite as excited as S.

I won't lie, my break this time has been more challenging than spring break was. My girls have definitely hit toddlerhood! There are little tantrums frequently throughout the day. Sometimes I find them amusing. S. will lie down on the floor and start to kick her legs, but doesn't quite go full blown flailing- yet. Sometimes they are super clingy- I must be sitting in the actual play area with them. If I am on the other side of the baby gate, they do not like that at all. During this clingy time, they also both hang on me- which I do like. Needless to say I have been quite busy with them, and it is draining. That said, I absolutely love this stage. They find everything so exciting, so new. On the fourth of July, they had people blowing bubbles. Not just little bubbles, but large bubbles too. The girls were entranced with the bubbles and kept signing "bubbles" M. even woke up the next morning and the first thing she did was sign "bubbles"!

Having twins is so amazing and every day I am thankful for my girls. Every day I also think about my IF sisters. Even if I do not always write about it, know that you are in my mind always and I will never, ever forget the struggles of IF.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Let's talk about naps. The girls are 15 months now, and have been taking 2 naps a day. Recently, I've thought that they may want to go to 1 nap. So I tried that for a couple days. They were so tired by the time they had lunch. So I decided to try 2 naps again today. Went fine! They took two 2 hour naps! And Maya would have slept longer, but I woke her after a little over 2 hours. So I guess for now we will continue with the two naps. Please share your experiences! How did you know it was time to go to 1 nap?

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

You cannot believe the crap I have been through this week with stupid job crap. I don't even want to go into detail right now, but I'm still in limbo. The district sucks, principals suck, the way we have to bid on jobs sucks.

I will survive.

Friday, June 19, 2009

I got another call!! So, I have an interview on Monday and this weekend I have to answer those interview questions. Busy weekend!
HA! Of course now that I post that complaining post, I get an email from a school! I think some principals were just lagging. So I have a bunch of interview questions to respond to and submit. The good part is, I do much better with writing answers than interviewing in person and speaking about it! The downside is that there are 16 questions, and they do require pretty lengthy responses! I don't want to send them a book though!

Jen- it isn't about me costing more since I already have a job with the district. So, no matter where I go, I will cost the same. Now, they CAN screw up at the district office. They are the ones who put the lists together. A few years ago, they definitely screwed up. I was at a school that was "closing" and had to bid on jobs. I had GATE certification, but the district thought I didn't. So, they did not put my name on lists. Plus they always screw stuff up. I just hate it. But I am glad to know that I at least got on this list- and it is one of the schools that got ALL the names. Wish me luck!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

This is going to be a total complaining post, but I really need to vent.

I decided that I would bid on jobs, meaning I want to leave my current position of Literacy Coach. I know I've blogged a bit about it, but I just cannot stay with this program any more. It has gotten ridiculous. Plus, my commute is just way too far for my liking.

A lot of people retired from the district this year, so there were a lot of jobs posted. I bid on some elementary positions, some positions at K-8 schools- where the position was a 7th or 8th grade class, I bid on one literacy coach position too. So what happens is, you bid on jobs on the computer, HR gets lists together and sends them to principals. The way they did it this time was that magnet schools and schools that are really low performing got ALL the names. Higher performing schools first got names of teachers who had been excessed, and then would get names in order of seniority. I had already delivered my resume to schools so they could see my name and me resume before they got the list. Quite honestly, my resume is good. Damn good. I got NO calls. There is a small chance some of the schools have not started making calls, but most have. The more I think about how I have not gotten any calls, the more incredulous I get.

A couple of the schools I thought I had an excellent chance at because they are very low performing, and not in a "desirable" area. No calls. I don't get it. The other thing that is making me suspicious is that when you bid on a job, it sends you a confirmation email and also shows up on your web page. I got the emails, but only 1 application showed up on my web page. I called IT and they said I had applied for 13 positions (I really applied for 15), so I thought it was ok. Well, this past Tuesday I checked my web page and ALL the positions I bid on were up with an application date of Tuesday. So then I was worried that HR is just trying to cover their ass and say that I was on the lists. So I emailed someone in HR yesterday, who forwarded that email to someone. Did not hear anything today. If I do not hear anything by mid-day tomorrow, I'm going down there. I just want to know that my name did get put through.

Luckily, they are having another posting next Friday. Not as many jobs will be up, but hopefully something good will be on it. I just can't get over how I have gotten ZERO calls. I really hate how this is done in my district.

Monday, June 15, 2009


We had a photo shoot yesterday, and the teaser pics are up on the photographer's website!
Sweetface Photography

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

I always have ideas for new blog posts- or even new blogs- and then I get home, get busy and totally forget! I need to at least sign in and start the blog entry when I think of it. I'm sure the ideas will come back to me though. I did have a thought to start an education blog. That is something I may just do. I have plenty to say about that topic! I am also likely going back to the classroom next year, so blogging about that would actually be useful for me. We'll see if I get around to creating it!

Today I went to schools I bid on jobs for and gave them my resume. I also found out that this year the principals are getting all the names on the lists. In the past, they have gotten the first 5 names, in order of seniority. So, that could often be a problem for newer teachers. Especially if you wanted a position at a school that was "desirable." I'm not sure that would have been a problem for me this year though. All of the schools I bid on are closer to where I live now. And all of those schools aren't in the particularly "desirable" areas. It just felt good to put my resume in. It also feels good to look at my resume and see everything I have accomplished. When you are living it, that's one thing, but to sit back for a minute, and really see what you've done- that's a nice feeling.

I feel like I'm starting a new chapter in my life. We live in a new area of town, the girls are toddlers (!!!), I am likely getting a new position, and most of the positions are at K-8 schools, which is a concept that intrigues me. I want to see how that works for students, and if it is any better than a traditional middle school.

I'm really looking forward to the summer. I can't wait to spend every day with the girls! We have tons of parks, the zoo, you name it, we have it! And they get so excited about everything. I love watching them! I can't wait to go to the zoo with them. I know they will absolutely love it.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

I know. I know! I've been MIA! I can't help it. Working full time, the opposite shift as your hubby, and being a twin mommy makes you busy!

The girls are doing awesome. They are 14 1/2 months. Holy crap! Time goes by so fast. And in the last 3 1/2 months, they have grown SO much! Both are walking very well now. They still fall, but Maya has not had any major spills like she used to! Sofia says, "baby" and I think she tries to say "dog." And of course, they both say the standard "mama" and "dada." Maya tried once to say "duck" but of course, she thought she was saying "dog" because she said it, then signed dog.

And talk about signing! All of a sudden, they are signing like crazy! When I take Maya downstairs for breakfast in the morning, I ask her, "What are we going to go do?" and she signs eat. They both sign "more," but it does happen to be Maya's favorite sign. Both also sign dog and cat. I have started signing milk again since they have been away from bottles now for 3 1/2 months! Also, they have tried to sign other signs while watching Baby Signing Times. Oh! How could I forget? When the song comes on, they sign "baby" "signing" "Time" It is so cute!

This age is so fun. And I think it is just going to get more and more fun!! They are hilarious with the things they do! And I love it when they crack each other up.

Here are some recent pics:
Being silly

Friday, May 01, 2009

Product Review: Munchkin Caterpillar Spillers

I'm excited to be doing some product reviews on my blog!

For the first review, I tried out Munchkin Caterpillar Spillers. I was excited to get a new bath toy since the girls don't have many, and they love the bath. This bath toy is a set of cups that stack as well as interlock to make a caterpillar. They come in bright colors, which I loved, as did the girls. In fact, they preferred the bright colors to their other bath toy that is similar, but are pastel colors. Each cup has a different design cut out on the bottom, allowing water to spill through. Of course, this was a big hit with the girls!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Ahhh.... testing season. It is the time of year when school is almost over- but not really. The testing begins and starts to fry the last remaining brain cells of our overworked students.

I had the great joy of getting to experience test coordination. The Degrees of Reading Power (DRP) was administered this week. Only the schools participating in the project I work for take it. The other schools take Gates-McGinnity. This week they get the DRP. Next week, the CST. 4 days of that. Unless you are an 8th grader. Then you get 6 days. How lucky! You also have to remember ALL the history you've learned from 6th grade to 8th grade. When will test writers learn that middle schoolers can hardly remember what they did an hour ago, let alone three years ago!

In reality, my experience with coordinating went fairly smoothly. Most teachers were cooperative and understanding. But is it really the best use of a Literacy Coaches time to be sharpening pencils and organizing test materials for the school?? You would think "they" would rather have coaches working with teachers. To improve actual instruction.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Universe? Are you out there? Are you listening? If not, LISTEN NOW!! Keep Nat pregnant!! What is happening is SO unfair. Beyond unfair. Keep the little bean in there and healthy! She deserves to have a child. She is a great person and a wonderful mom. Keep her pregnant, dammit.

If you are reading this, please go to Relaxing Doesn't Make Babies and offer your support and positive thoughts.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

I know! I haven't updated in so long.

I am on Spring Break! I so needed this break. It's pretty interesting- before now I never wanted to be a stay at home mom. Work is a nice outlet in a way. But Monday, my first official day on spring break, I kept thinking about how great it would be to stay home all the time! I know it would be less stress. Right now it is very difficult to run all the errands I need to. I also wouldn't have work stress. I've also had a great time with the girls so far this week. I really like this age! They have these cute personalities and are learning so much right now. I don't want to miss any of it. But, there is no way we can afford for me to stay home.

I did decided, however, that I am bidding on a new position. Part of it- well most of it- has to do with the crazy people I work with and for. I can't take them any more. I also found some schools that are only about 10-15 min. from my house, and a few of them are K-8 schools that will be adding 8th grade next year! Plus, these are schools that most people don't look to go to if they have some seniority. So, I'm hoping this is a good thing and I get a position at a closer school. At least I would spend less time commuting.

The girls are doing great! Maya is 19 lbs and Sofia is 21 lbs. Still 2 lbs apart! Sofia is a little taller than Maya- but not by much. I think Maya was 28 inches and Sofia was 28 3/4 inches.

I need to take more pictures. I cannot find my camera battery charger, so I haven't been taking any. I need to find it!

The girls have also started signing some. Today, Maya started to sign "more." I thought it was a fluke at breakfast, so at lunch I waited until her tray was empty and then she signed "more"! She also signs "milk," which actually means "Bottle" to her. And she can sign "all done."

Sofia signs "all done" and "milk" which I recently discovered also means "bottle" for her. We have been transitioning to all sippy cups. Sofia was doing great with it too! But then yesterday at lunch, she wanted more to drink- which was milk in a sippy cup. So, as I got her more milk in the sippy I of course signed "more milk." Well, she started screaming. And kept screaming, even after I gave her the sippy! I finally figured out she meant "bottle." I wrapped up lunch, took the girls to the playroom and quickly got Sofia a bottle since she hadn't stopped screaming. Then while I was giving her the bottle, Maya saw her drinking from the bottle and of course started crying for it! I was able to put Sofia down for her nap and then get Maya a small bottle and put her down for her nap. Exhausting! But, I learned my lesson. I am not signing "milk" for a very long time- until they have forgotten about bottles! I also hid all of the bottles because if they even see one, they go crazy!

The summer can't come fast enough!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Ok, I just saw the comments on my post before the first birthday post. Honestly, I don't even remember writing it! It was that bad. Wow. Thanks for all the comments!

We cannot afford a night nurse. I'd rather pay for a housekeeper anyway! :) Oh, and we also don't pay for daycare. Hubby goes in a couple hours late to work, that is much cheaper than paying for daycare. However, it has been a huge strain. We have found a cheaper nanny agency and will be hiring a nanny next school year. Psychiatrist seemed to think my reaction was a normal reaction to babies screaming and getting no sleep. He is probably right! I've been much better since doing CIO and getting sleep.

First Birthday!

The girls are 1 today. Wow! It went by so fast. The early days were really tough, and they seemed to go by slow, but then they also went by fast. I'm still amazed that my body created and carried two perfect humans. The girls are doing so well. Maya has taken some steps! Sofia is standing on her own for a bit. They are also starting to sign! Both can do the "all done" sign, and Maya today signed "more" after I signed it. They are at a really fun age right now. They like to try to copy things I do, they are getting a sense of humor, eating table foods- it's amazing!

On the sleep front, things are getting better. I haven't been posting much because I had been so tired and busy. Maya was waking every night wanting me, and about 2 weeks ago, Sofia started waking as well. I had a week or so of very little sleep. It was awful. It got to a point where one night I had gotten about 2 hours of sleep and had to call in sick the next day because I was so exhausted. I decided to once again try CIO. I hate doing it, but I NEEDED sleep. The first night was actually fairly easy, second night, not easy at all. It kills me to hear them cry. However, after about 3-4 nights, I am happy to report that for two nights in a row, Maya has NOT woken at all! Sofia still has, buy she quickly goes back to sleep. They are also sleeping later in the morning. And taking better naps. I think they needed sleep almost as much as I did! So while I hate CIO, I think it really was the best solution for us.

The birthday party went well! It was pretty stressful- we had a lot of people and a lot of babies! I invited two other twin families, so we had 6 1 yr olds (or almost 1), an 8 month old, 2 two year olds, and 4 older kids. Plus all the parents! It was crazy but fun. Here are some photos:

The girls in their birthday tutus

Waiting for cake



Beautiful tutus made by my friend

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

I haven't been keeping up with my blog because I've been so busy. I'm at a point now where it's all getting to me. Some nights are good, others I don't get any sleep. Like last night. I only got 2 hours at a time. Both girls were up on and off throughout the night. So of course I was extremely tired today. I went to a play date, pretty late, and I was hoping it would tire the girls out. I got them to bed at 7:30 and they went down easy. Only to wake again at 11. Both woke and were screaming. Then I start freaking out because I'm exhausted, and can't soothe both at once. I was able to get them both into their chairs and get them bottles, which helped, but by this point we were all crying.

I called hubby in the middle of this, but he wasn't any help. He's in a tough spot because he can't leave work really, but I also can't do this by myself sometimes. But I do think he blows it off more than he should. Now I'm crying again- he does a LOT, more than his share, but lately I just...can't. It's like I've given all I can give and I have nothing left for keeping up w/ housework.

I'm going to blame some of this on my psychiatrist. I'm now up to 50 mg on Paxil and obviously, it isn't working. I need to get on a different medication I think. But it's weird because I'll be fine on it and then something will happen, or maybe a series of things happen, and I just can't deal with it. And I'm blaming him because he doesn't do any therapy. It's all about the drugs- that's the only focus. Which now having gone through this, I don't think is effective.

Nat, over on "Relaxing Doesn't Make Babies" got AF. SO UNFAIR. It really pisses me off. She is such a great person, and so deserving, and life keeps handing her shit. It's crap like this that confirms in me that all those organized religions are wrong. There is not some omnipresent being sitting up there controlling things. I do believe in energy and the power of thought, but dammit! It didn't work this time- when it should have!!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

And now, Maya is getting her second tooth! She is getting her other lower middle tooth. I thought that I was going to get lucky and the teething wouldn't bother them, but it's been pretty miserable around here- especially at night!

The girls have been very difficult to put down, and Maya has been waking, of course. But even harder than that, she has been squirming and not wanting to sleep even when I hold her!

Will update more later- very tired.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

More teeth!

When I took Sofia out of the bath yesterday, she was screaming, of course. I thought I saw something in her mouth, so I looked again and sure enough! Another tooth! Her upper right incisor tooth is coming in. She is getting her right lower front tooth, so if other teeth don't come in for awhile she may look a little funny :)

Maya does not have any signs of more teeth yet.

It's really amazing how much they've learned in only 11 months. It's just amazing.

Oh! I just looked over and Maya was sitting behind Sofia, who was standing, and Maya pulled her pants down to get a better look at the pictures on Sofia's diaper! How funny!

Anyway, it is amazing how much they have learned. I am so lucky.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

I have been so busy, no time to update! We are all doing well. I am pretty miserable at my job. I always thought I wanted to help teachers get better at teaching- and I still do- it's just no fun dealing with resistant people. It wouldn't be so bad, but I feel pressure to work with EVERYONE at my school site. And that is a lot of work, plus many teachers are resistant. Or, they like having you help them plan, but what they take away is not what you wanted them to learn. Or it is a bit different. I do love working with teachers who are eager to learn and try new things. That is very fun. It took awhile for me to let go and realize that every teacher is going to be different, and they are not going to do a lesson exactly like I would. And once I learned that, it got easier.

It also doesn't help working with people who are energy drainers and just mean. And I'm not talking about the teachers- I'm talking about other coaches who feel like everything is a competition. So, I will look at what positions are posted for next year. But with my schedule, who knows if I will take anything different.

We did consider hiring a nanny. A friend found someone who was good, and a great price. But it took us too long to get back to her and she now has a position. We may still look into getting a nanny for next school year. That way, Hubby could go back to working all his hours. If we can find one for a decent price, it would work. Then again, I know hubby loves taking care of them during the day, and I feel better knowing they are with him. Maybe it would be better to spend that money on a house cleaner. That would take plenty of stress off!

I love seeing M and S's personalities come out more and more each day! It's so fun. I love in the morning when I put them in their cribs and I can hear them laughing and giggling at each other! It is so cute.

Sofia loves dolls and stuffed animals. She will sit there and "talk" to one for a long time. She is a little more laid back. She is content sitting and playing with one thing for awhile. S also loves music. They both do, but I think S likes it more. When any music comes on, she will rock back and forth and dance to it. I swear I've also heard her "singing"!

Maya, on the other hand, is always on the go! She wants to be in the middle of all the action, and wants any toy her sister is playing with. She is also hilarious. They both are, but Maya will do funny things on purpose to make you laugh. I really need to catch some of it on video!

I can't believe in about a month they will be 1! It flew by.

I need some advice. I think I've written before about Maya waking at night. She wakes, and wants me to go and get her and bring her to bed. Which I've been doing since I like sleep. I have decided that it really needs to stop. I am not sleeping well, and I need some sleep! So I decided to do some Cry It Out (CIO) this weekend since it is a long weekend. Now, I am not a fan of CIO, but the only reason she is crying is for me to come and get her. I will also say that I am not going to let her cry for hours on end. I just won't do that.

Night 1 went great! I out them to bed in their cribs. Maya woke, I went and got her so she wouldn't wake Sofia. I rocked her for a bit and laid her down. She cried. I patted her back for awhile, but she kept crying. I got her a little settled and left the room. She cried for 10 min. and then was asleep! Of course I thought, wow! This is going to be easier than I thought! Well, of course that turned out to be false.

Night 2: Maya started crying, I brought her into our room to put in the cosleeper. I tried patting her back, she was crying. I left the room. She cried for about 20 seconds and was quiet. Of course, I started getting relieved- which I shouldn't have because soon after, she was crying again. On and off she cried for close to an hour. At the end, she was just getting too worked up and I knew it wasn't going to work, so I went and got her and went to sleep with her.

I will try again tonight, but if anyone has any tips- please share! I was thinking maybe it would work better if I put her to bed in the cosleeper? That way I won't have to pick her up and take her to a new room. Maybe that will help? Any other tips, please share!

I will leave you with a video I shot of Maya chasing the cat around:

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Do you ever feel like you keep going and going and you just can't keep up? That's how I feel. There is a never ending stream of things to do. Just when I think I am catching up, more stuff piles up. Having twins and a full time job, and Hubby having a full time job, is very stressful. If you are pregnant with twins, do everything you can to either stay home or work part time. Although, I think if we worked the same schedule it would be a lot easier. As it is now, it is like we are each single parents. We only really see each other on Sundays. But our Sundays are filled with things we have to get done. It's exhausting!

The girls are doing great! This is such a fun stage! They interact with each other a lot, including grabbing onto each others onesies and pulling each other down from standing. Ahh, they love each other.

I have started planning their First Birthday party!!! Can you believe they are going to be ONE?!? I can't. People always said it flies by, but I didn't realize how fast it would go!

And now, some pictures!

And this is what happens if you don't take the pictures fast enough

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

YAY! There was a short (very short) piece on the news right now about how it is unethical to go ahead with the IUI cycle when you have that many follies!! FINALLY someone is reporting on the risks! The news anchor was surprised to find out that the doctor can tell about how many follies will be released. I hope more stories like this come out.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


Of course you know I have to comment about the octuplets born today. I was not happy when I heard that news this morning. It just bothers me because in stories about Higher Order Multiples (HOM)they never talk about the real dangers and the real problems these kids face. The public always thinks it is a "miracle" when HOM are born. In a way it is. When they are all born alive and doing fairly well- yes, that is a miracle. Not a miracle someone could conceive that many, but usually an irresponsible RE when there are more than 4! I say more than four because it is possible to have two sets of identicals- which is not the fault of any RE.
It just makes me sad that I know these kids will likely have plenty of problems later on, if not now.

I thought I had a lot more to write about this, but I guess I don't. I just annoyed that the public only sees one side, and it is not reality.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Thanks everyone :)

We should get counseling, but not sure when we have time to do it right now.

So last night, he told me something that had happened this week with his family. I think this added to his stress, but instead of talking to me about it, again, he bottled it up. I think maybe even if he got counseling separate from me, that would even help. I already go to counseling- and I think everyone should do that!

To the first person who commented, I do recognize my part in this and I mentioned it in my last post. And it was very much a vent, so yeah, I didn't say that much about my part in it. But honestly, I am sick and tired of getting blamed. Of course I have a part in it, but I'm also trying.

We will get through this, I know. We love each other, but we have plenty of work to do.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Just to warn you ahead of time, this is a vent. A vent about DH. I don't really think I want advice or anything, I just need to vent.

It has been pretty tough with DH. Things would get better for awhile, then worse. With the move, came worse times. We are both working full time and DH works overtime on Saturdays. I've been working a little overtime too- not too much though. Between that and taking care of the girls, we never see each other and it is stressful.

The first rough time came with the move. After we got everything moved to the new house, he felt like I was doing nothing. Truth was, I was taking care of the girls at night. I unpacked as much as I could- as much as the girls would allow. And of course, being in a new place, they were pretty fussy. So we had a big blow out and I thought he understood that when I get home I have almost no time until after the girls go to bed at 6. Or 6:30 or later if they are fussy. Then I eat dinner, have about an hour if I'm lucky and fall asleep. Can't forget the middle of the night wakings! I have to deal with those as well.

So I thought we had things worked out, I was really trying to be nicer, and really trying. Well, today was crap! He had the nerve to ask me if he could purchase supplies to build his lizard a new enclosure and put it in the garage! Remember, he already has tons of snakes- which I am deathly afraid of. We have had a million conversations and the deal was he would get 1 room for his snakes. Well, right before we moved, before the house closed, he wanted a lizard. When he said "lizard" I thought he meant little. Lizard. Like a gecko or something. He brought it home and it was a monitor. Yep, smart on his part for not saying "Monitor lizard" because he knew I knew what those were. Anyway, it was going to be fine because it was going in the snake room.

Except that didn't work out because the lizard got sick. Of course it got sick because he bought it from the reptile shop he said he'd never shop at again- because the last thing he got from them was also sick. So, this lizard is in the guest bedroom. It has gone to the vet twince. Bye-Bye $50 that we need. Never mind that I have no clothes. Never mind that the girls need new clothes. So he found out he needed to put top soil in the cage. The first kind he bought stunk. And I mean REALLY stunk. Even with the door closed! He bought a new kind, which also smells, but not as bad. But it still sticks.

So today he has the nerve to ask to buy stuff- and remember we literally have NO money- to build this thing a new enclosure. I guess he thought I would like it in the garage, but no! This was not the deal! I am SO sick of it because it is always something else. He always says, "This is it! No more cages, no more supplies" and I buy it. A couple months later he has to buy more stuff for the stinking reptiles.

I don't care about the snakes- they are in that room, I don't see them, I have given up on that. But there is always something else. And it is like he has no respect for ME. Does he ever do anything nice for me? Does he ever say, oh go out and do something nice for yourself. I'll take the girls. Nope. Does he ever randomly get me some gift- nothing fancy, doesn't even have to cost anything! A nice note would be nice. But no. I seem to be last on his list. And I am sick of it.

After I got mad about the lizard- and I was pissed. I asked if he hed the girls. No, he hadn't. And it was 3:00. He doesn't quite like to stick to the schedule as much. Well, because I was mad I told him to feed them. No, I wasn't that nice because I was mad. Well, that just made him mad. According to him, I am ALWAYS mean to him. My tone is always bad. Sure, I admit, sometimes I am very matter of fact- especially when things need to get done. It's not that I'm trying to be mean, it just needs to get done.

What is really funny is that he doesn't like to be told what to do, but if I don't say anything, he complains that he didn't know what to do! I can't win! Also, awhile ago we had the agreement that when I got "that tone" he would NICELY tell me I ws doing that. He never did. He prefers to just get mad at me.

The other thing that really infuriates me is that he won't talk to me. We were mad at each other today and he just starts ignoring me. I CAN'T STAND THAT! At least talk to me. Finally he told me not to talk to me. No, actually, he told me to shut up. Nice. So, he never talks to me about any problems we have, and then he goes and blows up at me and then ignores me. Real healthy. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I have TRIED. He only sees things from his perspective and he is always the one who has been wronged. He can never see how he hurts ME.

I hate to say it, but he reminds me of my dad. I don't think I've ever talked about him on here, but I did not have a good relationship at all with him. And even though I know they always say you find someone like your dad, or if you have alcoholic parents (which I did) you tend to find alcoholics or other people with something wrong with them. And yeah, that seems to be true. Granted, DH is not at all as bad as my dad. Usually, DH is great! But this problem we have is really getting to me. We need to fix it. And he just doesn't want to seem to. I'm not even sure how to fix it, but it needs to be fixed.

I'm willing to see my faults and try to correct them. He needs to do the same.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

We have TEETH!!!!!

I have been waiting, and waiting for the teeth to appear. I thought for sure around 6 or 7 months they were teething. I'm sure I blogged about it. Sofia was waking up screaming and only a cold paci would soothe her. And she was drooling SO much. Well, months later, and still no teeth! I was beginning to think they would never have teeth! Today I decided to feel their gums again, and I felt a sharp pointy thing in Sofia's mouth! Of course, I was so excited that I also had to try Maya's mouth. And this was really a feat. She does everything she can to NOT let my finger in her mouth. But I prevailed! Sure enough, Maya also had a sharp pointy thing! What is really interesting is that Sofia's tooth is on her bottom right hand side. Maya's tooth is on her bottom left hand side.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Just a quick update. I have been so busy between unpacking, working, and taking care of the girls!
The girls are 10 months! I can't believe it! They are doing so well, and are so fun.

The house is coming along. We are slowly unpacking. Today we are going to clean the condo and show it to possible renters. I hope we find someone!

Work is work. I may go back into the classroom next year. I'm not sure. I do like the flexibility of this job, but I can't stand the people I have to work with all the time. I will wait and see what jobs are available, but I may have to stay put. I can deal for one more year. I think.

Someday I will post more pictures. I can't find my little point and shoot. I hope I find it soon!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

I live in CA. I would love to lobby Congress, but yeah, I think I'd rather raise me girls ;)

Making progress on the unpacking! Kitchen is done (thanks Hubby!) and the girls room is almost completely done! Most of the boxes are unpacked. So nice.

The girls' room in the new house is much smaller than their old room. So, we had to put the cribs right next to each other, but now they are closer to each other, which is nice. So I put them in their cribs, hoping they would play, but expecting them to start crying for me. Well, they actually played nicely for a very long time! I think it helped being next to each other. It was very cute watching them "play" and "talk" together.

Sofia is trying soooooo hard to stand up! She desperately wants to, but can't get herself up past her knees yet. Did I mention she also started really crawling? About a week ago, all of a sudden, she started regular crawling!

I really can't believe in 1 week they will be 10 months. I know, I say this every month, but it goes by so fast. It really does.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

I Hate Insurance Companies.

Remember a while back when I posted that I got notice in my pay stub that fertility treatments would no longer be covered? I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. Not because I might want to get pregnant again someday, but I thought about all the hundreds of women, and men, out there who would now have to pay out of pocket, and some will likely not be able to afford that. What I didn't realize was that I would hear about this!

A friend of mine, who went to the same clinic as I did, and had her baby (singleton) on the same day as me, did not get notification of this change because she is on a year leave. She did not find out until she went to the RE to discuss her next cycle. Of course she was mad, and has tried everything to get it covered, to no avail. Luckily, I think she will be able to afford at least a couple cycles. But once again it brought to the forefront of my mind how many people will not be able to fulfill their dream of having children. It pisses me off! I'd really like to do something about it. I guess I can continue to blog about situations like this, but most likely I am preaching to the choir here. I will continue to also talk freely about my infertility struggles. Occasionally, I won't feel like going through the whole explanation, but I should. Perhaps it will educate just a few more people.

Monday, January 05, 2009

I wanted to check in and give everyone an update. We have moved into our house! Hardly anything is unpacked, but we are here and have been for a few days. You might be wondering why nothing is unpacked. Well, I figured moving would be more difficult with twins, but I did not realize just how difficult it would be! Last week, the first part of the week- actually from the day after Christmas to New Year's Eve- Hubby was busy painting 2 bedrooms and the entire downstairs. He also tiled the laundry room and the kitchen. I didn't start packing until last Tuesday since I wasn't sure when he would finish. Of course, after the girls went to bed and I started packing, inevitably, one would wake up screaming, demanding my attention. It was challenging to get anything packed.

Thankfully, on the day of the move a couple friends came over and helped us pack and move. I forgot to mention that right after Christmas the girls got sick. Sofia caught a cold first. But it was strange, because she would wake up in the middle of the night screaming. She wasn't hungry or anything- just didn't feel good! She was also super fussy during the day. So packing, and then unpacking in the new house has been a challenge! Things are slowly coming together now. Slowly.

I love the house! I am still amazed that we actually have a house! It's great! I love this neighborhood. It is so diverse, has all (almost) the shops I shop at in one location, has great schools, and some of my twin mommy friends live here!