For awhile I've heard my friends with slightly older kids telling me that the threes are so much worse than twos! I admit, I was a little scared. And for good reason.
The threes are like dealing with someone (or in my case two people) who is bipolar and switches between extreme happiness and extreme angriness and/sadness all in the space of 2 minutes. I kid you not. There have been a few days when one of the girls would be super happy, and then super angry. Or sad. Or even both at the same time! It's craziness. You never know what might set them off.
While the twos had some tantrums, threes are more intense. They have an even better sense of self and want to assert their independence every chance they get. Sometimes this is welcoming. Sometimes it is not. When you just want to do something quickly, yet they want to put on their own socks, it can get frustrating. In cases like this, I do remind myself that a few extra minutes will not kill me. Other times, the asserting independence is in the form of refusing to do something- very frustrating! I have learned to let a lot of things go. M definitely likes to do her own thing and make sure I know that she is calling the shots. She has long hair, no bangs, so it gets in her face all the time. Most of the time, she will not let me put a clippy in her hair. Or a headband, or anything. On days like these, I breathe, and let it go.
Threes are also a lot of fun! They are saying lots of cute and unexpected things. This morning, the first thing they sad to me was, "Can we go back to the party?" Last night we went to our friend's daughter's sweet sixteen party, and the girls had a blast dancing the night away! They did not want to leave. I was a bit surprised though that they still wanted to go back in the morning! I then asked them what they wanted for breakfast, and S replied, "A cheese sandwich"
Hmmm. They have only ever had grilled cheese. But S was specific. "No butter. Just cheese and bread, mommy!" Well...ok. I asked Maya if she wanted the same, and she did. I was still skeptical but I prepared their sandwich, and they ate it all!
Be prepared for The Threes. Lots of frustration, but lots of fun too.
Saturday, April 02, 2011
Question of the Week: When Did it Get Easier for You?
My favorite thing to do when I see brand new moms of twins, is let them know that it WILL get easier. When I was walking around in a fog during those newborn days, I had a twin mom tell me that exact thing. And it helped. A lot. Having twin infants is hard. It's a lot harder than anyone can imagine (except another mom of multiples). I did not enjoy those days. Not at all.
However, I survived! And yes, it does, in fact, get better. And easier. The first 3 months were rough. After that, it got a bit easier. Again, at 6 months, it got a little easier. The first year was definitely the roughest. The second year was tough too, but around 2.5 years it got a lot easier! Now that my girls are 3, I'm just starting to get a glimpse of my life - as ME- as it was before. It is better, no doubt, but I do have a little more time for myself. I also feel more confident in my parenting skills, and I know how to deal with my twins. I've been doing it awhile. For me, while each stage got easier, after age 2 is when it gets much easier. Of course, the tantrums are rough to deal with too. Nothing, nothing at all compares to those newborn days. That was the toughest, and I would not want to relive them- unless I had lots of help so I could get sleep and ENJOY the girls as newborns.
It gets easier. It really does. And the joys of having twins are enormous. Nothing compares to the sweetness of twins!