Holidays

I made it through the holidays and I made it through flying! I took a pregnancy test, negative of course. This was probably THE ONLY time I sort of wanted a negative because I needed to take Xanax for flying! The Xanax helped a little, but I think I need something stronger to really knock me out. No family made any dumb comments! I was pleased.

4 more days until my RE appointment, and I am so excited! I just want to get everything moving and finally get pregnant!

Flying

I hate flying. I have panic attacks and get so anxious when I fly. So on Friday, I will be flying to Indianapolis to visit DH's family. I'm sure it's a control thing. I like being in control, and so this infertility thing is really difficult for me because of that. So I will take a HPT on Thursday morning, just to make sure I'm not pregnant (there is no way I could be, but I need to be 200% sure) so I can take xanax on the flight. I am also getting an audio-book to distract me. My therapist recommended it. I usually just listen to music but she said that music doesn't distract your brain like listening to a book. So, I will try the book thing! Of course, I've narrowed it down to 3 books, and can't decide. I might end up getting 2 though. The three are: Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris, The Stupidest Angel by Christopher Moore, and The End by Lemony Snicket narrated by Tim Curry! So you can see why I'm having a hard time deciding!

We are staying at SIL's house. She has a brand new 3 month old baby. And I am excited and happy for her, and can't wait to see the baby, but I just hope it doesn't make me too sad.

Paperwork

I will be seeing Dr. Morales who is with Fertility Specialists Medical Group. I just got my packet of information, and there are SO many forms to fill out! I think I have most of them complete. It's a good thing I was charting, because it asks you some specific questions. If I hadn't put it on my chart, I would have no clue! I also thought it was very nice that they put directions and a map from map quest with directions starting at my house, to the clinic!

Did I mention how happy I am that I'm going to the RE?? I can't wait to go! I have a renewed sense of optimism now!

Woohoo! FINALLY going to the RE!

So after a month of dealing with the OB office that couldn't get it together, I got my referral for the RE today! Then, I called and made my appointment with the RE! I will be going on Jan. 4th. I am so excited!!!

Christmas Party

I realized I forgot to update what happened at DH's Christmas Party! It wasn't too bad, I was dealing with the pregnant lady well. She isn't showing yet which I think helped. But one thing did bug me. You know how when you've been struggling TTC you change your lifestyle and do certain things in hopes that it will help you get pregnant? For example, I have given up aspartame. I wasn't planning on consuming it while pregnant anyway, but I gave it up *just in case* it was hindering my ovulation or implantation, or something. Well, at the party, the pregnant lady had a diet coke!! Not only is there caffeine, which I almost completely cut out (well, until this cycle I'm drinking it a lot since I don't think I'm going to ovulate), but aspartame!! That just annoyed me.

Hopefully, I will hear TODAY about my referral to the RE. I probably won't though. I have a feeling I won't hear anything and I will end up calling tomorrow and they will tell me something like, "We haven't heard anything." It would be nice to hear some good news for once!

I'm so sick of doctor's offices!

So about a month ago I talked to my doctor and he said he would get me a referral to the RE. I waited a week (like he told me) and called his office. They told me it would take 2 weeks. Well, that next week was Thanksgiving. So I waited until the following Monday and called. Guess what? My OB did not word it correctly so they did not know I needed a referral!! So then she said some committee meets twice a week and she would hear by that Friday. That was this past Friday. She did not call, so I called her. I found out that MY insurance has not gotten back to them about if I can go to the RE. They said I would hear on Monday or Tuesday. I am so mad. I know my insurance covers this. I don't understand why it is taking so long. It is just a normal referral that normally takes NO time at all! And because of mistakes, this has taken almost a month. It is just so frustrating and I really hate waiting!