Flying

I hate flying. I have panic attacks and get so anxious when I fly. So on Friday, I will be flying to Indianapolis to visit DH's family. I'm sure it's a control thing. I like being in control, and so this infertility thing is really difficult for me because of that. So I will take a HPT on Thursday morning, just to make sure I'm not pregnant (there is no way I could be, but I need to be 200% sure) so I can take xanax on the flight. I am also getting an audio-book to distract me. My therapist recommended it. I usually just listen to music but she said that music doesn't distract your brain like listening to a book. So, I will try the book thing! Of course, I've narrowed it down to 3 books, and can't decide. I might end up getting 2 though. The three are: Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris, The Stupidest Angel by Christopher Moore, and The End by Lemony Snicket narrated by Tim Curry! So you can see why I'm having a hard time deciding!

We are staying at SIL's house. She has a brand new 3 month old baby. And I am excited and happy for her, and can't wait to see the baby, but I just hope it doesn't make me too sad.