Mrs.Piggy-
I had an u/s done at 34 weeks, and it said both girls weighed the same- 4 lbs. 8 oz. I didn't have another growth scan before delivery. Sofia was 6 lbs. 1 oz. at birth and Maya was 4 lbs. 8 oz. What *I* think happened, but of course I have no proof, is that for some reason Maya stopped growing at 34 weeks. That may not be the case though because her umbilical cord was a LOT smaller than Sofia's. So either the u/s was off, or she stopped growing.

I've been doing pretty well. Today the girls wouldn't sleep though! I finally got Sofia down around 7:00 pm. Maya was still up until almost 9:00 though! I'm exhausted too because Maya was grunting and moving her feet all around last night. The only way to get her to stop is to have her sleep next to me, with her head on my arm. And whenever we sleep like that, I am so nervous that I don't sleep well. I wouldn't mind the grunting so much, but she wakes up Sofia. I think I will have to move them to their cribs soon and will probably have to split them up if Maya continues to grunt.

I am going to put some new pictures up soon. I finally got some of the girls smiling!

I've been tagged!

4 Things I Did 10 Years Ago (1998)
1. I was still in college working on my Liberal Studies degree so I could become an elementary school teacher. Yes, it took me YEARS to do this since I changed my major and was paying my own way.

2. Moved to a cute little apartment in my favorite part of town. I was really sad when I moved out- even though the place was too small for 2 people!

3. Spent my free time going to clubs/raves

4. Learned how to DJ (with records)


4 Things I Did 5 Years Ago (2003)
1. Started teaching middle school- which I thought I'd never do!

2. Living w/ my now hubby, and was 1 year before we got engaged

3.

4.


4 Things I Did Yesterday

1. Bathed Maya and Sofia
2. Cleaned the bathrooms
3. Watched Grey's Anatomy
4. Played WoW for a bit while the girls actually napped!


4 Shows I Love to Watch

1. Lost
2. Grey's Anatomy
3. Top Chef
4. House

4 Things That Make Me Really Happy
1. Maya and Sofia- especially when they smile at me
2. Hubby (most of the time, haha)
3. Coffee
4. Getting Sleep

4 Friends to Tag


1. Fertilize Me
2. Over My Head

Only tagged 2 because 1 person was already tagged, and the babies are crying!

2 Month Visit

The girls had their 2 month pediatrician visit today. They are growing well! Maya is 7 lbs 14 oz., 20 inches long and her head is 14 1/2 inches. Sofia is 10 lbs 2 oz., 21 inches long, and her head is 15 inches. They got some shots. I'm spreading out their shots so they only got 2 shots plus the oral rotavirus. We'll go back in 1 month to ge the other 2 shots. I was so sad when they got their shots! They cried, of course. Maya screamed a bit louder than Sofia did- poor babies!

It's amazing the amount of attention you get when you go out. Hubby and I went to Target this weekend and everyone was looking at them. Luckily, we did not get any crazy comments. Most people just looked or said, "Look! Twins!" And again when I went to the doctor's office- lots of looks. I know people don't see twins all the time, but I was thinking about it at the doctor's office. You have 1 baby, nobody even looks your way. You have 1 baby and an older child, same thing. But twins- everyone is looking! It's weird. So far I don't mind everyone looking, but it's just different.

The Paxil has really been doing wonders! I'm doing so much better. The first day I took it I felt better, but figured it was the placebo effect. It may have been, but it has definitely started working. I don't get as stressed out when the girls start crying. I can actually handle it now. And I'm feeling like I can enjoy them more now.

I went to a Moms of Twins Club meeting last night. It was pretty fun. I met two other women who have twins around the same age of my girls. They were amazed that my husband and I are doing this all on our own. But honestly, Im glad we don't have that much help. While it would be nice, I am now used to taking care of the girls and I know I can do it on my own. It would be hard to have really great help for a month or so and then none. Of course, if we could afford a nanny, I would probably take advantage of that at least on a part time basis! But we are managing just fine.

I did feel like everyone was staring at my belly though, and I thought that everyone was thinking I was pregnant. Who knows if that's what they were really thinking, but I am just very self conscious about belly. I'd much rather just have flab! I need to go buy some of those flowy empire tops so it can cover it better.


Hubby took the day off yesterday so I could go to the meeting. He was with the girls during their fussy time- first time he's been alone with them during their fussy time. Now, I was only gone for about 3 hours. I called him when I was on my way home and he didn't sound too good! He couldn't believe how hard they were, and even said that he has it easy at night when he does the middle of the night feeding. I am glad he got to see what it is really like! I think now he understands more about why I can't get cleaning or anything else done. He understood before, but now he has a better appreciation I think.

I talked to Dr. O today and I am getting my paxil tomorrow! I am so glad. I will finally be able to fee normal again!

I honestly didn't want to be on anti-depressants again, but it's gotten pretty bad, and I know when I need them, and I need them.


I also took the girls out twice today! I took them for a walk this afternoon. Sofia was crying and I knew they wouldn't go to sleep inside, so we went on a walk and they slept and I got exercise. Then, my friend called and reminded me our old professor's retirement party was today and so I decided to go. It was the first time I really took them ot somewhere besides outdoors. I was nervous, but we survived! I did get the pregnant comment though. Ugh. So I tried to explain the diastasis and got a blank stare. Next I will just say, "No, I'm not" and leave it at that.


I did order that book that was suggested about diastasis. I actually saw it posted on a message board and ordered it right away. I can't wait to read it!

I haven't felt much like writing. I haven't felt much like doing anything actually. The B6 is not working. I think the girls are going through a growth spurt and they are driving me crazy! Yesterday was really bad. For some reason they decided to be fussy all morning. They have never been fussy in the morning before. I usually get a few hours to myself which I spend on the computer, making bottles, and doing some cleaning. Couldn't do anything yesterday. It really got to me and I had melt down. Hubby stayed home from work because it was so bad. I hate feeling like this! I want to enjoy this time, and sometimes I do. I feel awful too because I know how lucky I am to have 2 healthy babies! So of course that just makes me more depressed. Depression just really sucks. So instead of waiting 2 weeks to see if the B6 works, I am calling Dr. O Thurs. to get the antidepressants. I cannot wait any longer.

My body image issues are also coming back - which I figured they would. I'm super self conscious about the way I look. The only time I haven't been is when I was pregnant. I actually liked the way I looked and loved my belly. Now, because of the diastasis (did I mention I have that?) I still look like I'm pregnant. It's really gross- your abdominal muscles separate and your intestines push out. Creeps me out thinking about it! I did find a book that has exercises in it to help and I'm going to go to Mommy and Me yoga, so I'm sure it will be ok. In the meantime though I hate the way I look. I'd much rather just have loose skin. Every time I go out I dread that someone will ask when I'm due.

I'm also trying to eat healthy, but let me tell you - it is difficult! It is hard because I cannot really cook at night. The girls are usually awake during dinnertime so I have just been making frozen meals, which are not healthy at all. But I do try to eat healthy when I can. I guess that counts for something.

I had my postpartum appointment. It went well. I didn't get paxil yet. He wants me to try B6 for a couple weeks first. I don't think it will help so much, but I'll do that and see.

I also found out I have Diastasis! I was wondering why I still looked pregnant - my stomach pooches out and is hard, not flabby, and I was getting paranoid that it was my uterus. I asked Dr. O and he assured me it was not my uterus, but the ab muscles separate and push out. And your intestines and everything also push out. I can make it better with exercise though. So this is a great motivator!

Dr. O also let me know that my placenta remains were not really placenta remains. My placentas came out whole. It was a tiny bit left over from the reduction. I had a hard time hearing that. I've been trying to forget that happened, which is hard. I think about it a lot. So hearing that was rough. Please don't leave any nasty or non-supportive comments about this. I really don't need to see that again. Anyway, I know our decision was the right one, but it doesn't make it any easier.
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Today I decided I was going to go out and walk. Now, I have to drive somewhere to walk because we live on a very busy street and it's not the best for walking. I decided to go to a park. Now, I never go to parks because before I had no reason. So I have no idea what the good parks are or anything. I thought this park that has a lake would be a good choice. It wasn't great. I need a paved path to walk on since I don't have a jogging stroller yet. There was a paved path, but it was very short. I did walk on it though! The hardest part was getting everything together and getting out to my car. I have to cxarry the car seats all the way to the parking lot because there are steps up to the condos, but no ramp. So I can't use the stroller until I'm in the parking lot so I just leave it in the car. It was exhausting carrying them both, but I did it! I am going to be buff in no time from carrying them!

Now I just need to find a better park.