I haven't felt much like writing. I haven't felt much like doing anything actually. The B6 is not working. I think the girls are going through a growth spurt and they are driving me crazy! Yesterday was really bad. For some reason they decided to be fussy all morning. They have never been fussy in the morning before. I usually get a few hours to myself which I spend on the computer, making bottles, and doing some cleaning. Couldn't do anything yesterday. It really got to me and I had melt down. Hubby stayed home from work because it was so bad. I hate feeling like this! I want to enjoy this time, and sometimes I do. I feel awful too because I know how lucky I am to have 2 healthy babies! So of course that just makes me more depressed. Depression just really sucks. So instead of waiting 2 weeks to see if the B6 works, I am calling Dr. O Thurs. to get the antidepressants. I cannot wait any longer.
My body image issues are also coming back - which I figured they would. I'm super self conscious about the way I look. The only time I haven't been is when I was pregnant. I actually liked the way I looked and loved my belly. Now, because of the diastasis (did I mention I have that?) I still look like I'm pregnant. It's really gross- your abdominal muscles separate and your intestines push out. Creeps me out thinking about it! I did find a book that has exercises in it to help and I'm going to go to Mommy and Me yoga, so I'm sure it will be ok. In the meantime though I hate the way I look. I'd much rather just have loose skin. Every time I go out I dread that someone will ask when I'm due.
I'm also trying to eat healthy, but let me tell you - it is difficult! It is hard because I cannot really cook at night. The girls are usually awake during dinnertime so I have just been making frozen meals, which are not healthy at all. But I do try to eat healthy when I can. I guess that counts for something.