Friday, April 20, 2007

Thanks for the comments everyone! They were nice to hear :)

Yesterday, I was pretty much fine all day. Went to the RE, had an ultrasound, everything is fine for injects! So, I start them tonight. I'm nervous. But, I'll get through it.

I was actually feeling a bit odd yesterday because I was so FINE. I took yesterday off of work (as well as half of Wed.) and felt bad since I was doing fine. Well, today I went in and it was really hard. It's so weird because I will be fine and then all of a sudden- out of nowhere- I will start tearing up! I was in a meeting all day so that was rough. I came home at lunch and while I was eating, just started crying. My hubby was there and that was nice. He actually said that yesterday he was shocked at how ok I was. Of course, today not good.

Then, things kept coming up. I was talking to a colleague and mentioned it was my b-day, she asked how old I was (she thought I was much younger, that is what started this), and then she asked me, "So are you at a place right now where you hoped/thought you'd be at by this point in your life?" Wow, it took me all I had to NOT start crying. She had no idea just what she was asking. I wanted to scream, "NO! I thought I'd have a BABY right now! But even that got taken away from me!" Of course I didn't and somehow managed to keep it together. Then, at the end of the day one of the consultants of course mention how she will be returning to New Zealand because her sister or someone just had a baby! And actually had it today! I was the only person NOT smiling when she said this. That was awful. But I made it. Now, I have to make it through my injects, which I know I will, and actually now it doesn't seem AS scary as it did before I got that + pregnancy test. I can deal with a little bit of physical pain. It will last 2 seconds, and actually hopefully get me a lifetime of happiness in the end. Hopefully.

1 comment:

Babe* said...

Lots of luck with this cycle. Fingers crossed for you.