Wow. Wow, wow, wow! I came across a blog of someone who frequents a great message board I go to often and have gotten tons of support from. I read a few of her entries, and can't help think, is she writing about me? She must be. I know, it's her blog and she can post whatever, but I really am amazed that someone else who is suffering from IF is that hateful. I get that some people are against abortion, and I guess no matter what, they will see it as an awful thing. For me, I am not against abortion, especially if it is for the health of the mom and other babies. This is not a discussion I ever get into with anti-abortion people because I know I will not change their minds. But I think what amazes me is that often times, these people cannot put those feelings aside and be empathetic to someone's situation. I see a lack of empathy running rampant in the world today, and it makes me sad. Without empathy, wars will continue and get worse. Society will become an even more hateful place. How do you think hate crimes happen? It's ignorance plus a lack of empathy.
It amazes me that she called me selfish (then again, maybe she didn't write about me??). I did not do this for selfish reasons. Quite the opposite! I feel it is selfish to put your babies in greater danger for disabilities. I could not risk the life of my babies plus my life just to carry 3. I know others see it a different way, and we are not going to agree on this. I do not think that people who choose to carry 3 are selfish. I think it is a totally personal decision, and one that is NEVER taken lightly.
It amazes me that people make this decision seem so simplistic. It's not. She made a comment about not telling her she hasn't been in my shoes. Well, she hasn't. You can think about what you might do in this situation, but honestly, until you have to face it, you don't know what it's like. It's JUST like infertility! How many times do we say that people who have never experienced it don't know what it's like? That is completely true! It's the same thing. This is not a simple decision, don't make it simplistic.
A side note if she is reading: I did NOT have more than 6 follies on this cycle. I had 5. Yes, I had a cycle where I did have more than 6, but I trusted my doctor. I know you trust your doctor, it is the same thing. A very small percentage of people with IUI end up with triplets. The statistics are much higher with IVF. And to the people who commented about not being able to have a differing point of view:m You CAN. But during this time I ask people to respect my blog and not post hateful comments here because I am going through a very difficult time. I would never go to another blog where someone is going through something difficult and start trying to argue with that person about their choices I didn't agree with. That's just mean. I'm all for debate and speaking your mind, but I am choosing for that not to be here right now. Plus, like I stated before, I do not get into abortion debates because it is pointless. Neither side will convince the other of anything. The one thing I can do that many people who are "pro-life" seem to not be able to do is understand their point of view. I completely understand it, but disagree.
I've had more crap dumped on me within the last day. I was going to discuss it here, but I'm going to hold off. I know she may read this and think I'm "whining" but I don't really care. It amazes me that so much can get dumped on one person, or one couple. And this is a huge reason why I don't believe in organized religion. I actually haven't believed in organized religion for a very long time, because I saw innocent people have these awful horrible things happen to them. Then I would hear people say things like, "It was God's plan." I don't buy that. I do believe in god, but not any God that is represented in the major religions today. I do not think there is a guy sitting up there deciding that this awful thing needs to happen to this child or person. That is too awful for me to believe in. And I know there are people who believe in organized religion who also do not believe this way. But many, many churches operate under this belief.
That was a huge tangent. Anyway, the point of all this is I think the world would be a much better, happier, and peaceful place if people were more empathetic to each other.