Nursery

I just realized I have not posted any nursery photos!

Sofia's Crib:


Maya's crib:


Hello Kitty humidifier!



Car seats in the Double Snap N Go


A peek into the closet


And, my 34 week belly pic, taken about 2 weeks ago


Edited to add:
I decided on the Snap N Go because I figured that would be soooooo much easier! I tried the Graco Duoglider, and it was so heavy! Way too heavy for me, and I didn't think it would fit in my car (I have a Jetta). So, I got the snap n go and for later I have the Maclaren Twin Techno. It's a side by side that is light, steers REALLY well, and has gotten great reviews! I tried many side by sides and this by far had the best steering. It also fits easily in the trunk of my car with plenty of room to spare!

Michelleann: My OB will let me go to 40 weeks if I make it that far! He said most twins come early, and many people are just done by 38 weeks because they are so uncomfortable, but he is fine with letting me go longer. I did some research because I know a lot of doctors won't let twin moms go past 38 weeks, but there is nothing that says the outcomes are better either way. I prefer to just let them come when they are ready!

Still Waiting

I am still waiting! Now I am hoping they will wait until at least Friday to come!

I called my doctor's office today to see if they had faxed my chart over to the hospital. Some weird stuff was going on with my chart! In early Feb., the nurse faxed my chart because the due date on it said March 30th. Now, this was before my Dr. had written the note on my chart about calling him when I go into labor. Then, the nurse told me that she couldn't just fax the updated one because they use some computerized system over there, and it would "confuse" the system. Great! The other funny part is the person at the hospital who gets the charts is like a third party. Labor and Delivery is not allowed to access the computer with all this info because then they would have access to my whole medical group's records. Oh the horror! So it has to go through this other person. What a pain! So first the nurse said she could give me a copy of the chart so I could just take it in when I deliver. Later, she called back and it turns out my doctor is on call tomorrow so he is going to deliver my chart to them.

It also makes me feel good knowing he is on call tomorrow because if I did go into labor tonight, then there would be no problems at all when I went in tomorrow! But then he is out of town for 2 days, so I really hope they decide to stay put until Friday! I also have an appointment on Friday. I'll be interested to see if I've dilated any more.

It's getting really boring at home. I ca only sit at the computer so long because of my pregnancy induced carpal tunnel syndrome! I've been watching some movies, and tv is getting old. I wish the writer's strike would have ended sooner! I am also not going anywhere because I don't want to go into labor, and it is just really difficult to get around! My pubic bone now hurts every time I stand up. I'm sure it is from Sofia's head! Also, if I stand for too long (like 5 min.) I get a lot of pressure in my cervix. So, it is boring! But I know they will be here soon and I will be far from bored! :)

35 Weeks!

I made it to 35 weeks!!!! Yay! I am so happy! After my appointment last week, I was a little worried I would deliver before 35 weeks, and I really didn't want to! Now, I feel much more relieved! Of course, I would like to make it to 37 weeks, but we'll see what happens!

I've had some contractions today, but nothing painful or regular. I'm going to venture out to Target tomorrow, so we'll see. I'll probably have a few more contractions. I can't believe the girls will be here so soon!

Thanks for the comment S! Sorry you had to deal with crappy care as well!! It did make me grateful for my doctor though!


I just watched the documentary The Business of Being Born. Pretty good! Although, I pretty much knew all the info that was in it. I don't think that many women in general in the U.S. do have all this info, and it would be great if more women would see this! But I have a feeling all the women who will see this documentary are ones who are already in this mindset, if that makes any sense. It didn't go into the details of how much doctors/hospitals/insurance companies make from c-sections or other interventions. I would have liked to see more on that. It discussed it briefly. It also made me very glad that I have the doctor I have!

Another night in Triage

I am so annoyed! So last night I was having contractions that started at 10 min. apart, and then went to 5 min apart for an hour!!!! So, I really thought this was it. We went in, and of course it was 4:30 in the morning so the night nurses were on. Never again am I going in the middle of the night.
I get hooked up to the monitors, and I was still contracting. Then, the nurse wanted to do the FFN test, and I said no - my Dr. wasn't going to stop labor, and if I am in labor you need to call him. Well, they didn't have anything in my records saying to call him. Then, she paged the on call Dr. to see if he wanted to do the FFN. I hear her on the phone say I'm 33 and 5 days!! NO, I am 34 and 3 days! I also hear something about a decel in one of the girls! She came back in and mentioned it, so of course I was nervous but I also felt like it was the monitors. The girls always move away from them or kick them and they can never get a good reading. I also told her I was 34 and 3 - oh I had previously told her my DUE DATE. So she showed me a piece of paper that said my due date was 4/7 and it was from an u/s in Sept. Um, ok, but I KNOW my real due date, especially since I did IUI plus I've been having growth scans!

So anyway, the stupid on call doctor basically wanted to pass me off to the next Dr. since it was 6 am and they switch at 7 am. So that's what they did. Shift changed, I am still waiting. Finally at 7:30 Hubby goes out and asks if I'm going to be released, and at this point I haven't been having any regular contractions. Dr. wouldn't call them back, so they call again, nurses change and finally Dr. calls back and I can go
They were treating it basically like preterm labor (which is understandable, but I do have twins) and the on call Dr. wanted me to get a follow up appt. w/ my doc.

So I will be calling my doc to tell him to fax over the note that says call him and to also fax something that says my REAL due date!!! And I am NEVER going back in the middle of the night.

Now that I vented about my stupid pay roll at my stupid district, I do feel better! After I wrote that, I went and calculated everything out - including our bills. And actually, it does work out better if they divide up the payments. Otherwise, in June I would get a super tiny check, and that would be even harder. I then looked at bills and we can do it. It will be TIGHT, but hey, we have twins coming, it will be tight anyway! I guess the main thing I do not appreciate is they called with ONE week to go before I get paid. I do not like surprises. It's a good thing we will be getting money from the government from the economic package too! That will help.


Since yesterday, I have been STARVING!! It is so weird because for the past few weeks I have not been hungry at all, and when I would go to eat I could hardly eat anything before getting full. Now, I have been eating non-stop! I wonder if that means they've dropped, so my stomach has more room? It's crazy how much I've been eating - but it's good. I want them to GROW!! I also finally slept pretty well last night - despite still waking every hour. I have been having major problems falling asleep. Not last night! I even slept for two 1-hour stretches today!

AAHHHH!!! I hate employers!!! Just when I thought everything was worked out, they have do something dumb! I got a call a little while ago from my pay roll department. What I originally thought would happen was I would use all my fully paid sick leave, then it would go into half sick leave. Well, since they don't want to over pay me, they just calculate when my full sick leave would end and calculate all the hours and how much I should get paid and then split it into my last 5 pay checks. So, I will be getting paid a LOT less starting, oh next week. And disability hasn't kicked in because I lagged, and then pay roll lagged at getting that paperwork in. And I just called them and they were surprised my employer was doing it that way, and they didn't have that paperwork yet, so they couldn't really say how it would work for me yet. I so don't need this right now!!!

Now that I think about it, I think pay roll may have calculated my sick leave wrong anyway, I will have to double check. It's just stressful thinking that you will have plenty for bills until May or so, and then boom! No, I find out I will have to struggle from now until June! I just hope everything works out ok. I think it will, but I hate having to really worry about money - especially right now.


Thanks for all the comments! :) I called the SDPD today, and of course I had to leave a message and they have not called back. I may call the CHP again because I know I can schedule an appointment - I just think the person who answered was clueless.

WOW!

I found out today at my OB appointment that I am 3 cm dilated and about 80% effaced!!! That shocked me! The doctor said I would probably go within the next 2 weeks! I am hoping that I keep them in until 37 weeks though. I want them to bake as long as possible! But knowing it could quite possibly happen very soon - wow! I was nervous about delivery before, and now just more so!

Oh, and they must NOT come March 5th or 6th because my OB will be at a wedding in Mexico. Anytime before, or preferably after that, would be fine. I like that they are to call him - even if he is not on call! That makes me feel a lot better because I love my OB and he knows what he's doing and is confident in doing twin vaginal births.

We still need to install the car seats! Hubby was going to do it last weekend, and then we didn't get around to it. I also need to find a place that will schedule an appointment to check my seats! I called the highway patrol yesterday and she told me they didn't do appointments - even though online it said they did. So I'm going to call other places today.

I can't believe they will be here so soon!!!!

I can't believe how close I'm getting! Really, in about 1 week, if I were to go into labor, they would not stop it!! This is very surreal for me! I'm also terrified of labor and delivery. But, like many other things, I think the waiting and thinking about it is probably the worst.

I just can't describe though, how surreal this is. I mean, for the longest time I didn't think I'd be able to have children. Then, I got pregnant and that took awhile to get used to. But I did. And now that it's almost time for the girls to actually BE here, it's very surreal! I'm super excited about meeting them though!

We have pretty much everything we need and everything is set up in the nursery. I should post some pictures. Oh! And I am getting a glider!! I wasn't sure if we'd be able to do it, but MIL said she;d pay for half of it, so now it is definitely affordable for us! I know I probably won't be able to breastfeed in it (unless I only feed one at a time), but I think it will be great anyway.

I had a more detailed u/s done today. The other doctor ordered it while my doctor was out of town. I was looking forward to it because it is a better machine than they have in their office. Well, the tech didn't even turn the screen toward me! I could sort of see it, but not really well. I should have said something, but I didn't. It was also not comfortable!! I was laying on my back, and of course this u/s took longer than others I've had. Well, part way through I started getting light headed and my heart was pounding. So she had me roll over to one side. Rolling over is not easy and not comfortable at all! Then to get the other one, I had to roll to the other side. So then I couldn't even see the screen at all. I then had to lie on my back again because she couldn't get some shots. Right at the end I again started getting light headed. She then had to do a T/V u/s because she couldn't see my cervix on the abdominal u/s. That was fine, but she didn't tell me about my cervix. And I totally forgot to ask because I was still all light headed and just not feeling well. She did tell me the weights:
Sofia: 4lbs. 9 oz.
Maya: 4 lbs. 7 oz.

And told me what they were measuring over all - but I didn't find out any specifics. I know, I should have asked. It was just frustrating that I couldn't see anything and she didn't explain anything. Maybe I've just been spoiled by good techs and good doctors.

Thursday I see my OB so I will ask him!


We are pretty much all set for the girls to come! We bought some last minute little things last night, and hubby just has to install the car seats. Unfortunately, I somehow LOST my car manual! But, our neighbors have the same car as me (same color even!) so we will ask them. I wanted to get it done today, but that didn't happen. Hopefully by the weekend it will be done and we can go get it checked.

I'm getting anxious to meet them, but scared to death of labor and delivery!! That actually scares me more than bringing them home!

edited to add: Interesting! I couldn't post this at first, and then I saw I had spelled out T/V, so I changed it to just the letters and it posted. Wow. So blogger considers that a bad word? Amazing.

Hubby was so sweet! He knows I've been having a rough time - especially sleeping!! So on Valentine's Day I woke up, and there was pink tulips, 2 huge chocolate bars, and a nice card waiting for me!! It was very sweet. We usually don't do much for V-Day, usually cards only. But he really put some thought into this :) Definitely made my day!

I had some more Braxton Hicks last night. I hate them. I even had one or two that were pretty uncomfortable - almost hurting! I've been telling the girls they need to stay put until 37 weeks at least!

Next week should be fun. I have a more detailed u/s on Monday for a growth scan, then on Wed. I have an OB appointment. It will be nice to see them on a better u/s machine again! Even though they are super squished!

So here I am, posting at 11:00 pm! Why so late? It's not because I'm not tired, I am pretty tired, but I don't WANT to go to bed. Sleeping hurts. I start out laying on my left side, get all my pillows just perfect - I think I have like 4 or 5- then about an hour later, I wake up having to go to the bathroom. So, I try to sit up, which is very difficult at this point, lug myself off the side of my bed and go pee. Then I go back to bed, I have to switch sides because my hip/back/everything is hurting from laying on the one side. So then I have to redo all my pillows, not to mention when I lay down on my right side I get a pain in my side. It feels like an ovary pain, but I'm pretty sure it is round ligament pain because I'll push a little above the ovary area and it still hurts. Oh, I forgot, before I lie down I also have to drink water. So then I go back to sleep for about another hour and repeat. It's so fun. Last night I think I went for a stretch of 2 hours and I was so happy!

I think I forgot to mention that I have moved out my bedroom and my bed and moved into the bed in the nursery. My bed has a mattress that we just bought back in September. At the time, I loved it! But a couple nights ago I had the worst time sleeping and the mattress was just way too soft for me. I even contemplated sleeping on the floor! The bed in the nursery is firm and doesn't have a pillow top and is a lot lower to the floor, which is nice! So even though my back still hurts constantly, it hurts less than when I was sleeping in my bed. Hubby is somewhat glad I moved out too, because I took up the entire bed with all my pillows!

Since about Thursday or Friday, it has gotten really difficult. Constant pain and now I'm moving even slower than before, which I didn't think was possible! And honestly, I hate complaining because I know how lucky I am to be having twins! And I remember everything I went through to get to this point. It's just very difficult right now. I'd be ready for them to be out now, if it wasn't so early. Hubby told me to take it one day at a time, so I'm trying to do that and trying not to think about how many weeks are left.

The other frustrating thing was my Mother in Law. She always has comments to make, and hubby mentioned how he was working and doing everything at home too because I can't. Well, she wasn't too happy about that. She couldn't believe I wasn't helping out more! Well gee, it's not like I'm on vacation here! I'm pretty much homebound and can't do much at all! Hubby tried to explain to her that I was full term size a couple weeks ago, but I doubt she even remembers what that's like. All I know is, she better be prepared to help out when she comes to visit us! If not, oh boy, my temper is even worse now that I have all these hormones! I can only imagine what I might say if she makes me mad while she's here! Hopefully she will surprise me and help out, but we'll see.

I'm feeling a bit better today. Still have a headache, but it's not nearly as bad as it was yesterday! Of course, now my upper back has really started to kill me. I am super uncomfortable. That being said, thank god I got the nursery pretty much all completed! I can't imagine working on it right now! I do have some clothes to wash and fold and a couple things to put away, but it's pretty much all ready to go! I need to take some pictures and post them.

Now I'm getting really nervous about delivery. I'm sure it's the unknown that scares me. At least my doctor said it should be pretty easy - if they stay head down!

I feel bad for my hubby because he really has to do most everything around the house, plus he works nights, works overtime, and works on Saturdays. But, it does annoy me when he gets aggravated that he has to do all that because it's not like I'm having a party every day! Plus, it's only going to get harder when the girls arrive. He does know that I am working hard at growing them, but I do think sometimes he forgets. I also think part of it has to do with society. Women are the ones who are "supposed" to take care of the kids and do the housework. It's just like when I tell people that we aren't going to have child care. Hubby will stay with the girls during the day and go into work a couple hours late. Then I get home and will take care of them, after working full time. So many people are shocked and ask when is HE going to get any sleep? Him?! What about ME?!? We will BOTH be working full time and taking care of kids full time, but I guess that is expected of me since I'm a woman, and not of the man.

Thanks for the comment S! :) No blurred vision and no excessive swelling. I don't think it is blood pressure. Wednesday my blood pressure was fine though. Of course, if I was at work I could just go and have the nurse check it for me!

Back to our regular scheduled programming

Yesterday I had an OB appointment, and with my OB! He's back from vacation, thank god! Everything looked good. Sofia is 4 pounds and Maya is 3 pounds 14 ounces! They are both still head down, which is great. I asked Dr. O about laboring in the labor room because the freaky multiples class instructor said that twin mommas have to labor and deliver in the OR! I did NOT want that! So, Dr. O said no, I would labor in the labor room and if they stay head down I could most likely also deliver there! They can just wheel me over to the OR if necessary. I am so glad! I also asked Dr. O how it worked when I went into labor because I want HIM to deliver me. He said that they usually call him and he also put a note in my chart for them to call him when I'm in labor! He also said something about how he trusts himself more than others to deliver twins :) Although he said with me, if they stay head down my birth will be pretty easy and uneventful and probably anyone could deliver them. But still, I trust him and do not want anyone else delivering me. I would just feel a LOT more comfortable. Plus, I know he really does not want me to have a c-section and I'm afraid another doctor would push sooner for a c-section.

I'm still worried about Sofia. Her head is large. Dr. O again said not abnormally large, but when I looked on the screen it was in the 97th percentile!!! So that plus the fact we had the bad NT scan for her, is freaking me out. Hopefully she will be ok.

I'm not feeling so good today. Not sure if I'm getting sick, or if I just feel like this because I'm pregnant. I don't have a fever, but I do feel achy and have a headache. I hope I'm not getting sick!

Taking a break from talking about pregnancy today to bring you an awesome video about Barak Obama! Yes, I am voting for him on Tuesday, and encourage you to do the same!

I am so mad!! Maybe this is making me so mad because I am pregnant - I seriously need a shirt that says, "Don't piss off the pregnant lady!"

Anyway, at work there is this secretary and she is totally type A, anal retentive, and it drives everyone nuts!! Well, She forwarded me info on how to go about taking my leave. This "leave" is actually taken out of my SICK days. Of course, I need approval from my doctor. So, I get her a time card, signed by the doctor for Jan. I forgot to bring one for Feb. to the appointment. Well, the secretary tells me I need a note too. Fine, I tell her I will get it to her next week. Well today she emails me asking for it again! UGH! I should have kept my big mouth shut, but I said something about getting it to her next week, but the information I read just required a time card. So she emails me back again, and said she had spoken to someone in payroll who of course affirmed that I need a doctor's note. Yes, I know. I already said I'd get you one!! Then she goes on to tell me she can charge it to UNpaid leave until I get the paperwork! UM NO!!!!!! They would end up never paying me for the time or paying me months later, knowing my school district. Oh, the best part is she doesn't even have to submit anything until at least Feb. 15th!!! IT IS ONLY THE FIRST, and I already told you I would have it next week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I sent her an email back just saying NOT to charge it to unpaid leave and I would get her the paperwork next week. She is driving me nuts!!!!!!!!!!!

Off work - Day 4

Yep, I'm bored! It's difficult because I can't go out and do much. For the past two days, I've been going to a store, but I can only handle 1 store a day! I do have a book I'm reading, and I have netflix, but everyone I know works! However, it IS nice to just relax - it's just hard to get used to!
I'm glad Lost starts back up again tonight! I wish some other shows would play new episodes.

I also can't believe I'm 31 weeks! Time is flying by! I can't believe in a month or two the girls will be here! I'm pretty nervous. Taking care of two newborns at once! But at least I am having twins first. I think having a singleton first would be tougher. I'm really nervous about breastfeeding - there is still so much I don't know about it, and can't really until they are here. And of course that makes me nervous because I like to be prepared. I'm also concerned about a schedule. A lot of twin mommies seem to follow a strict schedule, and that is something I don't want to do, although I would like some sleep. I guess I will just see how it goes.

I called the doctor yesterday to let him know I went to Triage, and he wanted to see me today. Well, he checked me and I AM FINE!!!! I'm not really dilated! He said the nurse probably shouldn't have said I was dilated. Then he went into this whole explanation about dilation, and how the outside part, yes, he can feel a "dimple" but the inside part is closed and that's the part the matters. Plus, my cervix is not thinning at all and that happens before you dilate. Also, my FFN came back negative, and it being a negative is a good, strong negative. Now, he did prescribe me procardia, which works like terbutaline but without the horrible side effects. He said I could take it if I start having contractions, instead of going to triage. He also said just knowing that I have that will make me feel better - and it does!

I think I wrote about how awful the nurses were with the internal, so I'm not surprised that they were wrong. He said of course, to take it easy, listen to my body, but I am fine! The girls will cook a lot longer!

Adventures in Triage

So, you know that Friday was my last day at work. And I think I mentioned how long I had to stay and I had to work a lot. No taking it easy. I really should have relaxed more!!

At about 7:00 I started having some Braxton Hicks contractions. I ended up having 5 or 6 in 1 hour! I remember my doctor saying not more than 4 in an hour! So, I called Triage. They told me to drink a big glass of water and lie down. If they didn't go away in an hour, go in. So I did that, and they slowed down. Then I went to bed. Well, every time I woke up I was having one. Then at 1:00 I decided to stay awake and count them. I had about 5 in a little less than an hour! So, I told hubby we had to go in.

I was hooked up to the monitors, and yes, I was still contracting. They did the FFN test and an internal - those were NOT FUN. Now, I have been to triage before and had both of these done, and they were not bad. But apparently, this night nurse did not have much practice or something! When she put the speculum in it felt like she was ripping me apart! Even when she swabbed, it was so painful! Then, she did the internal, and again, not so good! Then, she couldn't find my cervix. So I had to have another nurse do an internal. Going in, she was better, but she also had problems finding it. Finally, she found it. I am 1 cm dilated, but my cervix is still long, thankfully!
They gave me a shot of terbutaline to stop the contractions, and that worked. I really don't like terbutaline. It felt like I had about 10 venti lattes, and all cracked out. My FFN test came back negative! That is the test they do to see if you are going to go into labor in the next 2 weeks. Because it came back negative and my contractions had topped, I got to go home.

Yesterday, I put myself on bed rest and drank TONS of water. Early in the day I was still contracting - about 3 an hour, but they cleared up. Today I've only had a couple! So I am taking it easy. The girls need to stay put!

Anon - Thank you for the apology. I appreciate it!

Sarah - Thanks for the comments :) They were great to hear! I'm planning on getting the EZ2Nurse pillow, which should be great for tandem feeding! And I know my hospital has lactation consultants as well as all the nurses know about breast feeding and how to deal with some of the issues.

Last night part of my belly got hard, and it looked like both of the babies were pushing out on each side. But then I started thinking, maybe it;s not the babies? Maybe it's a Braxton Hicks?? I have no idea! Sometimes it is hard to tell, and I wish I could tell because my doctor wants me to call if I have 4 or more an hour. I guess I will just ask him about it at my next appointment.

I had my shower for work yesterday. It was nice! Got TONS of clothes, but it was nice because they were all larger sizes. We have a ton of newborn stuff, so it was nice to get larger items! Some did get us matching outfits, and I will probably take a couple of them back. I also got a few little toy things which was nice because I have NONE! There is still a bunch of stuff we still need to get. Mostly little stuff, but it adds up!

Of course my pregnancy brain is getting to me and I can't remember if I wrote about my OB appointment or not. Ok, I just checked and I did :) So today is my last day of work! I'm excited! I do feel a little weird just because I'm the type of person who works all the time and I feel obligated, so leaving in the middle of the year is rough. BUT it is what's best for my babies, and that is the most important thing now! I am looking forward to relaxing.

So much to write about!

Monday night we had our multiples class. I was really looking forward this class! I was hoping they would talk about how to handle 2 babies at home. I expected that, actually. Well, she didn't really discuss that! Most of the time was spent talking about c-sections. And her attitude just made me mad. She was pretty negative and went on and on about how most of us will have c-sections. Sure, that is probably true, but you can be a little positive! Our childbirth class instructor is so positive! She always stresses how if the babies are in the correct position, I won't have to have a c-section and she has told me some stories about twin mamas who give birth naturally! I know that a c-section is possible, but I like hearing positive things. The instructor of the multiples class also made it sound like just about all of our babies would end up in the NICU. No, that's not necessarily true! Sure, it's a possibility, and I'm glad for the info she gave us, but don't make it seem like that is what WILL happen. And did she discuss anything about when we take them home? Not really. She quickly went over breastfeeding by showing us the different positions. I pretty much already knew those. And that's really all she said about after. I realize they have a class you take before you go home from the hospital, but honestly it is geared toward women with singletons. It's much different if you have twins!

Plus the class was difficult for me because there were two women in there who were having triplets. I almost started crying. Then hubby kept looking at me and asking if I was ok, and I know he was concerned, but I was trying really hard not to cry. Asking me about it was just making it worse. But I made it through without breaking down.


Today, I had another doctor's appointment! This one was with the other OB in the office. He was nice. I originally had him as an OB but switched to Dr. O because this other one didn't want to run tests on me, just wanted to diagnose me. I'm just glad today he was nice! I got another ultrasound and he printed out some pictures, but they are really awful. They are too smooshed and you can't really tell what is what. I did get a nice picture of the tops of their heads!! :) They are both head down and their heads are right next to each other. Everything looked good! He had me schedule an appointment for a more detailed ultrasound to get a better growth scan. That is in about 4 weeks. Then, we had a conversation that I found amusing!
Dr.: Are you still working?
Me: Yes
Dr.: When do you plan on stopping?
Me: probably next Friday
Dr.: How about this Friday?

Of course, that is fine with me! :) He said he was being proactive and didn't want me going into pre-term labor and then having to spend 4 weeks on hospital bed rest. I guess he takes his twin mamas out between 28-30 weeks.

And that is fine because I've been not feeling so great this week at work. My belly is getting really heavy and I've just been so tired! I think it will be good to just be home and relax. Of course, I'm not particularly good at relaxing! I get bored really easily. So hopefully I can find things to do to occupy my time! I'm sure closer to the end I will get really anxious and excited to meet the girls, so I know that will be difficult! But I do think it's a good idea to stop working.

No news IS good news!

A different nurse called me back today, and I passed!!! She said something at the end of her message about not eating too many sweets, but I could barely understand her. So, not sure if I was borderline, or if they just say that to everyone who takes the 3 hour.

Mel, yes, Dr. O is always on vacation!! I'm just glad he will be here in March! I have to go see the other doctor in his office for my next visit, and I am not looking forward to that. I originally had this OB, but switched after he told me I had PCOS without looking at my medical history OR doing any tests. Sure, he was right, but lucky guess. I'd rather get the tests done and be sure. I'm sure he will be fine - he is nice enough. I'd just rather see Dr. O!

Last night I noticed the car seats I wanted were back in stock, so I ordered them. I think I got the last one! 1 shipped today, the other is not available yet. So, at least I am in line for one! :)

No news is good news?

I didn't hear from the nurse today about my 3 hour test! I hope that means something good! Mel, I know you said Dr. O'Hara called you, but he is out of town right now (wwaaahhhhh!!!!!!). But when I failed the 1 hour the nurse called 2 days after. I will call tomorrow, and am hoping for good news!

Today MIL also emailed her flight info! So, it is getting more and more real. And time is slipping away! I am freaking out a little bit because we have no money right now, but still plenty to get and plenty to do before the girls arrive! I am also hoping the car seats I want come back into stock at Babies R Us! Normally I would just get them from somewhere else, but I have gift cards I could use for one of them. I just feel like there is hardly any time left!

MIL is coming on March 29th. I counted to see how many weeks I would be, and I would be 39 weeks. So, I have a feeling I will have delivered by then, but there is a chance that I could deliver that weekend. It might be a little weird having her around right after they are born, but I'll deal with it. Then again, it might also be nice, perhaps she could cook! :)

I also came across some pictures of babies born at 29 weeks. And yes, while that is way too early and I want mine to stay put for a lot longer, I couldn't believe that they were actually babies at this point! It's still very surreal that I have 2 little girls inside me!

3 Hour Glucose

I failed my 1 hour glucose test, so I had to do the 3 hour! I knew it was going to be bad, since you have to fast. I get hypoglycemic symptoms when I don't eat, so I was NOT looking forward to it! As I was driving in to the lab, I started to get some of the symptoms. I was hoping to get the drink fast so that they would go away. Well, I guess I didn't get the drink fast enough, because the first hour was pure hell. I didn't get all shaky, sweaty, and light-headed though, which was good. But I did feel awful and couldn't concentrate!

When I went back so they could draw my blood she asked how I was feeling, and I told her. I then told her I get hypoglycemic episodes and her response was,
Well the drink has sugar in it, so you should be ok."
Um, yeah. I just told you I felt awful.

However, after that I did start to feel better. The last hour and a half wasn't so bad. But even after the test, and after I ate, I still felt off all day. It was no fun! I think I will find out my results tomorrow. I really hope I passed!! I have a feeling I probably didn't though. I am at a higher risk because I have twins and because of PCOS. We'll see!

Shower!

What a tiring, but fun, weekend! I had my shower on Saturday and it was a lot of fun! It was at our house, and I was so exhausted by the end! In fact, I am still tired from it!!

But it was great. We had all our friends there and it was great to see people we hadn't seen in quite awhile! We also got some great gifts! What surprised me was that most everyone got us very useful stuff! Even the clothes we got - which weren't that many - were all useful. No cutesy outfits that the babies will wear maybe once. Everything was practical, so that was nice! We also had guests bring a children's book instead of a card, so we got great books to start off the collection!

I'm not sure if I'll ever fully recover from it though! ;)

28 Weeks!

I had my 28 week appointment today. Unfortunately, my OB is out of town all this month, so I had to see the NP this time. She is nice enough, but I really like my OB. She did an u/s and the babies are squished!! She couldn't get a good picture of Sofia at all and she did print one out for Maya, she was sucking her thumb! But she is smooshed and it looks like her face is flat. Really awful picture.

I also had the glucose test. So many people have said how awful it is. Well, it wasn't that bad! I'm glad so many people said it was awful because I think in my mind I had a picture of how awful it would be, and since it wasn't that awful, it was fine. I thought it was going to taste like orange soda syrup, but it wasn't even as bad as that. And either it wasn't quite as sweet as everyone said, or I just have a really sweet tooth! They gave me 5 min. to drink it, and I downed it in about 3 minutes. I hope I pass, but I have a feeling I won't.

My shower is this weekend, I am so excited!! Not sure that too many people are buying off the registry though. I do hope we get some items we need!

Thanks for all the suggestions! I went ahead and ordered a shirt from Motherhood. It's one I already have, just a larger size. It will work!

Tomorrow I'm going to talk to my boss and tell her when my last day of work will be! I'm thinking I want to shoot for Feb. 8, but Feb. 1 might be my last day. It all really just depends on how I feel. Originally, I was goin to tell her I wasn't coming back this year, but I'm going to hold off on that. I'm sure she must know this is why I'm going to talk to her, but I just hope she doesn't stress out too bad.

I started work again today afer being off for 2 weeks. It was hard to go back! I'm just not in a working mood. And my feet were swelling again! Really weird because before break they were swelling, during break, they didn't swell. Today, I mostly sat down, and they still swelled! During break I don't think I was lying down more - I was mostly sitting. I guess that I probably did walk around more at work than I do at home, so I guess that's what did it.

It's getting pretty difficult to get around. Some days are better than others. Yesterday was pretty bad because my tail bone was hurting me all the time! he tail bone pain was better today - thank goodness! On a site I visit there is a woman, pregnant with twins who is about 3 or 4 weeks ahead of me. And I will admit it - I am a bit jealous of her! She posted how she is feeling great and still working and not planning on stopping (she's also a teacher). It's amazing to me that she's not having any aches and pains! I definitely have to move a LOT slower and can't do much. I get tired so easy! I know every person is different, and I am glad I haven't had any more complications! I think a part of me feels bad for stopping work. I am the type of person who works hard, and I like what I do, so it feels weird taking time off for myself, and my babies. I know it will keep me sane and more comfortable, but a part of me still feels bad.

Why, why, why do no stores make any clothes that look good on pregnant women with LARGE bellies??!!?? Right now, I look full term, and I still have quite a ways to go. I've heard this complaint from other women who had this problem near the end of their pregnancy. So it scares me a little because I'm having this problem now.

I've been trying to find something to wear to my shower next weekend, and it's not working! I went to so many stores: Motherhood, Target, Old Navy, and JC Penney. I could find nothing! I can't wear dresses because it makes me look like a tent. The I think if the dress were more form fitting, it would look fine, but all the dresses just hang off my belly and make me look huge. So I try to find a shirt. Well for some reason, they want to put these crazy prints on maternity clothes. Not real smart! Crazy prints do NOT look good when you have a huge belly! Please designers - can you make plain shirts! And dark colors! I also couldn't find any form fitting shirts which look better on me since really the only part of me that is getting bigger is my belly. I guess I should be grateful for that at least! But it does make it difficult to find a good size. Right now mediums fit everywhere except for my belly. Larges fit my belly but are huge everywhere else and make look big. It's annoying.

Anyway, after spending way too long at stores tiring myself out, I came back home. I was so frustrated. I almost started crying in JC Penney! Thanks hormones! I do have a top from Motherhood that I like, but it is getting tight on me, so I decided to go online and see if they had it in a large. Thank god they did! So I am getting that shirt. Of course, since I waited so long I have to pay extra for quick shipping, but oh well. It's better than looking like a tent!

Hospital Adventure

Sunday night, I started having some cramping. I was a little worried, but I laid down and it finally stopped and I went to sleep. Monday morning I started having some mild cramping again. I was not happy! So I just laid down and tried to rest. Then at about 1:00 I got a much sharper cramp that lasted for 1 minute. Four minutes later, I got another. Now that really scared me because before then, they were just mild and constant. I tried calling my doctor's office, but of course they were closed. Why do these things always happen on holidays?? So we decided to go into triage at the hospital. I was worried, but I also didn't want to go because I knew they'd tell me I was fine. But better safe than sorry!

We got to the hospital and they strapped these things on me to monitor the babies heartbeats and then one to monitor any contractions I might be having. It was funny because the first nurse really had a hard time getting them on the right spot. So then another nurse came in, who must have had much more experience with twins. She got them on right away. It was also funny because the girls did not like the pressure on my belly! They were kicking like mad! I could see the sensor things go all over the place! They checked my cervix, and it was fine too.

I told her I was having cramps that were pretty much constant, except for the 2 I had earlier. No tightening of the belly or anything. So they decided I was having cramps caused by constipation. No. I don't think so. I know what poo cramps feel like, and this was not it! But, they had no other explanation, so I took it. I'm hoping that it is just my uterus growing. They also sent in my urine sample to test for a UTI, and at my appointment next week I should find out about that. I'm glad nothing was wrong, but a little annoyed they assumed it was constipation.

Other than that, I've been doing well! Normal aches and pains, and a much slower pace, but good! I'm not looking forward to going back to work next week, but I keep telling myself that I only have 1 month and then I am done with work!

Last night we had our first child birth prep class! While a LOT of the stuff I either already knew, or it didn't really apply to me since I'm having twins, it was good. It was nice for us to do something as a couple and meet other expecting couples! Especially since we don't know ANYBODY who is expecting or has little babies. The last part of class where we did some breathing and relaxing was great!! It was pretty much like my yoga breathing, but it was good for hubby, and some of it was like snuggling, which was nice. In a few weeks we will have a multiples class, and I think that will be really helpful.

Here are some pics of the nursery!







And my 26 week and 3 days pic:

26 weeks

Had my OB appointment on Thursday. Everything looked good, pretty much. My cervix is fine, which is great! Both of the girls are still head down too. I liked that my OB wants to do vaginal is they stay head down. He said that having 2 and recovering from a C-section is not good, and I agree! I've heard too many stories about OBs who just jump to C-section. Glad I don't have one like that!

He also did measurements. Both girls' weights are perfect - 1 lb 14 oz. and 2 lbs! He did say that Sofia's head was a little big and her abdomen a little small. This is worrying me since we had a bad NT scan. He said it wasn't abnormal, but now I'm just really worried. Maya's measurements were great.

The nursery is all set up, and I will post pictures later!

Merry Christmas!

I was so excited because all of our furniture came in yesterday! So we picked it up and set it up last night. It was a lot of furniture to squeeze into a small room! What made it worse was that we have a bed that we need to keep for now since we will have visitors staying with us. But we managed to squeeze it all in there! I'm going to wait and take pictures once it's more done. I still have some stuff I need to get out of that room, and I will hopefully complete that today.

It's hard getting stuff done around the house. I get so tired and out of breath so easily. I do one thing, like clean some counter tops, and I have to rest. So it makes doing any projects very slow going! Also withing the past couple of days it has gotten harder. I'm usually ok in the mornings, but by afternoon, forget it! I'm done! My ankles have been swelling pretty bad too, so I do try to keep my feet up as much as possible. It's hard because most people think it's the same as being pregnant with one. It's not. I even had to talk to hubby about this. We got into an argument - well, ok a fight - and I think he realized that growing two really is different. Probably part of it was my fault. I tend to keep things inside and I don't like to complain, so I think he assumed I was fine. Had the typical aches and pains, but not as much as I really do. But we talked, and it's fine now. We are just going to have to remember to communicate to each other better.

And even though I do have aches and pains and it is getting rough, I would not trade this in for anything. I am so appreciative! And I love feeling them kicking me! The physical pain is a LOT different from the emotional pain of not being able to have kids. The physical pain is just that - physical. It gets better. Emotional pain is much worse. And that is something I will NEVER forget.

Maternity Leave

I finally have it all figured out! Maternity leave is super confusing, especially for teachers. Even though I am a state employee, I do not get SDI or anything. It's all different. Awhile ago I went and talked to payroll, and they of course scared me. Told me that unless my doctor approved time out before I give birth, I couldn't take ANY. Then, I could only stay out 6 or 8 weeks after birth. Any more time, I would have to get the doctor to approve it. Even though I have enough sick days to cover it. Oh, and those 6 or 8 weeks? That also gets taken out of my sick leave. Which makes no sense to me.

So I was getting worried that my doctor wouldn't approve extra time off, because I have heard stories of that happening. Luckily I have the coolest OB in the world and he told me he would approve any time before and after birth! That made me feel a lot better. I was still a little worried because I wasn't sure about my sick leave. But I calculated it out, and it works out so that I can use all my sick leave and half sick leave, and disability will cover the other part that the half sick leave does not. So that is a huge relief that I don't have to worry about my pay for the rest of the year or going back to work!

Stretch Marks

They are here. Stretch marks. Of course, I knew it was more than likely going to happen, but I held out hope! My mom never got any stretch marks with her three pregnancies. Of course, she also was never pregnant with twins! They aren't too bad yet, but I did notice the beginnings of some new ones today. I have read about women who are pregnant with twins who do not get any stretch marks until late - like 35 weeks! I think I would rather get mine early! Because if you get them at 35 weeks, I know I would be thinking, "wow! I didn't get any! It's almost time to give birth and I didn't get any!" Then, I would get some, and it would be an even bigger shock! So, I'm not happy about the stretch marks, but I'm not devastated either. I mean, I knew they could happen. It's all a part of the experience!

Hubby is making me laugh. He is totally nesting! His project this weekend was to paint the closet doors he made for the nursery. So, I thought that was ALL he was going to do, but apparently not! He took Friday off of work and did finished painting over the patch in the wall in our bedroom. Then, I thought he would start the closet doors. Nope! Instead, he caulked all of our trim around the house and painted the trim! Sure, it needed it, but it was a lot more work than just painting the doors! Saturday he started the doors. They are painted now and look great! I just find it amusing that he is nesting so much.

24 weeks!

I had an OB appointment yesterday. It was at 11:00 am, and I the going in in the middle of the day because my OB is always backed up! Wasn't too bad this time, but I like much better earlier in the morning! Anyway, I thought he was going to do measurements of the girls, but no. He said he would next time. So no pictures. Boohoo! He was pretty fast too, so I didn't get as good of a look at them as I like. But, they look even more like babies now! I can't remember if I posted about it, but last week I was laying on the couch and the side of my stomach popped out. I felt it, and it felt like a head! Well, it was! Last time, Maya was breech, and now she is not. So I know that was when she flipped. Crazy!! So now they are snuggled up close, although it did look like one was about hit the other in the head with her hand!

I've been having some Braxton-Hicks. Not very many, and only after I've been active, and my OB said not to worry. He said if they come with pain or don't go away with rest or are a lot more frequent, then to call. That was good to hear. My cervix is great, so at this point I can still do whatever I want! It was also nice that he said at this point it is up to me when I want to stop work! He will approve it! So, theoretically, I could stop tomorrow! That was really nice to know, because I wasn't sure about when I'd go out or anything. Originally, I wanted to try to make it to March 1. But I will be 35 weeks at that point. Judging from how I'm feeling this week, there is no way I will still be able to work at 35 weeks! So, if everything continues to go well, maybe I will shoot for stopping work between 30 and 32 weeks.

LAst weekend we ordered the cribs! I wanted to order the dresser at the same time, but no. Babies R Us had none in the warehouse and apparently they will not place orders unless they have it at the warehouse. Which makes no sense to me, but hey, that's Babies R Us! I did call earlier this week and they said I could order it starting on Saturday. So that's the plan! It will be so exciting to get some furniture in the nursery!

It's funny to me. It seems a lot of people are able to rely on their family for many things, and that's wonderful. Me, I've never been able to rely on my family, so that's nothing new. But hubby has been able to rely on his family for some things, until now it seems. I guess it's just funny to me that some of our friends have been more supportive and helpful to us since finding out we are having twins than any of our families! A friend of mine sent me a TON of stuff recently - tons of clothes, and I mean tons! A Bumbo, Bjorn, and other really useful stuff that will totally come in handy! Now another friend is going to give us another bag of clothes! But our families really haven't said much about anything. Hubby's dad at first said he would help us, and told us a few times specifically that he'd send money. He never did. Part of the problem is he's an alcoholic. My dad was an alcoholic too, so I know they talk big and don't follow through. But honestly, before now he has followed through. So I guess I thought if it was important he would do it. Guess not. And the rest of his family hasn't really said much about anything. And, really, I don't want it to sound like I'm being greedy or anything, but I just thought we'd have more family support. So I know that this is one area that WILL change as we raise our babies. They will have family support. My family was never close, and I want our new family to be close and have a good relationship, so I am going to work on that. I know no family is perfect, but I can make it better for my kids.

OH Good god. I thought the "lovely" anon posts were done - guess not. Since this person only read "money" in my post - let me clarify. I'm not just talking about money. I'm talking more about emotional support, and follow through. If you say you are going to do something, do it. We will be fine financially - yes, I'm stressing, but I stress, that is me. It's not just about money. It's about putting family first. It's about priorities. Basically, friends of ours have showed more concern emotionally about us than our families.

I'm seriously laughing at this comment because it talks about me not being ready. Um, ok. Have you read any of my blog?? Almost 2 years of TTC and I'm not ready. Sorry, don't think so! I'm also not immature. I've had to deal with FAR more than MOST people have to EVER deal with in their ENTIRE LIFETIME. My struggles go back to childhood. I have NEVER had it easy. But, I am stronger for it and I have turned out well. I have a good job, a great husband, a home, and expecting 2 babies! Yes, I know I will have many sleepless nights - you think I didn't think about that? Come ON! I had over 2 years of thinking about that. Your comments remind me of a typical "fertiles" comments.

Like I said before, even though I gave some monetary examples, it's not about money. It's about showing that you CARE. It's about doing what you can within your means and making family a priority. We have had not really had that from our families. And you know what? Yes, some material items do come into play. I don't expect much, I really don't, but I do expect family to come first. Our friends have treated us more like family than our family. That was the point.

Today I got Newsweek magazine - I get a subscription for work - and the cover story was about diet and fertility! The neat thing was there was finally a study done on it. However, it looked like the only thing it studied was if the women had ovulatory dysfunction. The article also talked about the impact of diet on insulin levels. And really, everything they talked about sounded like PCOS to me. I'm glad there was a study, but I wish more studies would be done especially for "unexplained" infertility. I didn't read the end of the article, but I hope it didn't make light of the topic. Sometimes just a change in diet will not help. I do think there are plenty of environmental factors that come into play.

I used to work at this school that was in the inner city. It was awful. And honestly, I was concerned for my health. Interestingly enough, at least 4 of us who worked there were dealing with infertility! That is a pretty high number. Also, there were a few people who also got cancer. It really makes me wonder about the environment there. Luckily, I got out after a couple years but most stayed.

I was happy to see that article, maybe more people will become educated about infertility. I think we are going to continue to see a rise in it because of our diet and the toxins in the environment, unfortunately.

Thanks for all the nice comments!

Today I went to my school district's central office - the main office of the program I work for is there - and 3 people only had nice things to say! Such a relief after pretty much only hearing how big I am. Plus, I had a really awful comment today, so the nice ones really made up for it. The awful comment was from a co-worker at my school, she was surprised at how big I had gotten in the last week (though I don't think I am THAT much bigger) she was shocked and then told me it was like in that movie where she is pregnant with a demon and gets big over night. Wow. Thanks a LOT. So I tried to just forget that one. Later, three people at the district office told me how cute I looked! So much better than a demon comment! Nothing at all about how large I am. It was so nice.

Then, I got home and my diaper bag had arrived!! I was so excited because I bought it online from Skip Hop with a 50% off code! Here is the bag:
I love it! Nice and big, lots of pockets and cute!

Belly Pics!

Since I am procrastinating doing my homework (which HAS to get done this weekend), I've decided to post the belly pics!

5 weeks:
14 weeks:

19 weeks in painted nursery:
And the newest, 21 weeks w/ our dog:

Oh yes, I forgot! The best thing would be living near you, yodasmistress! :) Well, at least that would make 2 cool people I know who I would live near. My SIL is the other.

I think I'm getting bigger by the second. Ok, maybe not second, but by the day! My back hurts more frequently now, and I cannot even imagine how it's going to be in a couple of months! Very worth it though!

The babies seem more active too - or at least I can feel them more! Sometimes I can tell their movements apart. Sofia I can feel kick me on my left side. But sometimes I'm not sure if I'm feeling Maya or not because she on my right side, feet down. So her feet are on Sofia's head. So that is harder to tell unless it's a movement that's up pretty high. There was one time today when one was kicking me and I felt it right behind and a little below my belly button. That just felt WEIRD. But I do love feeling them move around!

I have been able to feel them a couple time on the outside, but pretty lightly. I'm sure it's easier for me to tell that's what I'm feeling since I can also feel it inside. I had DH put his hand on my belly and finally they kicked a little, but he couldn't feel it! He pouted and said, "No fair!" Of course I was thinking, it IS fair. I'm the one who had to go through the HSG and all the injects and dildo cam! So it is fair I get all the cool stuff!

:) Yes, the plan is to move. BUT the housing market is awful right now so I am not sure we'd be able to sell our condo. No way we could rent it out because I really don't think anyone would pay what we pay for our mortgage plus property tax. But we really need to talk to a realtor. It would be nice to move and be close to family (well, that would also be a pain!). I would miss the weather here though! But I know I would much rather have a house. With a YARD.

Yeah, I know expenses are relative, and it does totally vary, but if we were to move to Indianapolis - and Indiana has some of the lowest housing costs - One of us could stay home, the other could make around $35,000 and we could still afford a house. So, in Indiana anyway, it is proportionately lower, and that it where we would move anyway. I know that not all areas are like that!

Hmm, just realized you cannot really tell what is on the letters. They are flowers! I think you can see a close up if you click on it. Oh well.

So I'm started to get REALLY stressed about money. It's probably good that I am stressed, I mean, it's better than not being concerned at all. But I just wish I didn't have to worry so much about it! What is worrying me most is day care. It is SO expensive! And get this, it will be cheaper for us to get a nanny than to send the babies to day care!!! I guess because for infant care there are restrictions and everything, but it is crazy! Most of the centers I've looked at would be $2400 and up per MONTH for both! No way we can pay that plus our mortgage. So I will be looking into a nanny. And hopefully we will be able to do that part time. I really wish I could just stay home, but there is no way we could do that. Unfortunately.

Sometimes I wish we lived in a more affordable state. We are wanting to move, but I don't think we will be able to right now because of the housing market. But it would be nice. Cost of living is outrageous here in San Diego. If we made the salary we make here, but lived in the midwest, we could have a huge house with a huge yard. But we are here and have a tiny 2 bedroom CONDO that was built in 1970. No yard. It's just craziness.

I know everything will work out, but it is stressful. Not to mention who knows how our families will be able to to help out. They are crazy, as are most families. I'm not sure we can really count on them at this point.

Just finished their name letters, and I just need to add the ribbon:

I had an appointment today! Now, I knew he was going to start checking my cervix, but I assumed it would be with the ultrasound, since that is how the peri did it. Nope! I was wrong! He checked manually. I wish I would have known - I would have attempted to shave my legs! But the good news is, my cervix is great! No change. The babies look good too. I've been feeling them move all day today, so that has been nice too.

I'm starting to get REALLY big. Luckily, it really is all stomach. They weighed me however, and I think she did it wrong. She said I weighed about 10 pounds more than last time (2 weeks ago!) and I know that wasn't right. When I got home I weighed myself and it said I was up 6 pounds - which is still a lot, but better than her calculations! My maternity clothes are not getting tight or anything though, it's just my belly!

I need to post some belly shots, and I will get around to it. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I sure am giving thanks this year!

Pregnancy Book Reviews

Since I've read a few pregnancy books, I've decided to review them!
Rating Scale: 1-5
1= do not waste your money or your time even reading
3= do not buy, check out from the library or borrow from a friend!
5= Excellent! buy! Read!

What to Expect When You're Expecting
Rating: 2
I bought this book in the very early days of my pregnancy. It scared the crap out of me! I had to stop reading it because some of the things to watch for in early pregnancy were very scary ad misleading. It has some good info, but really nothing you can't find on the internet. I wouldn't waste my money again!

The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy
Rating: 5
Excellent book! This book was very funny, and written in a conversational tone. It really put my mind at ease too! This was definitely worth buying and reading, and had some good info.

Belly Laughs
Rating: 5
This was a great, quick read. Very funny - I could totally relate to some of the situations! It has some great tips for hubby in the back too.

Baby Bargains
Rating: 5+
This book is a must have! It has the best information on lots of baby gear. They base the ratings off of parent reviews and price. They also give thorough descriptions of why they gave it the rating they did. It was very helpful to me and it is really a must have. There is a lot of crappy baby gear out there and this book will help you stay clear of it!

Twin Specific Books
Twinspiration
Rating: 1
I bought this book because it was recommended on a twin board I go to. I haven't read all of it, but so far I am very disappointed! First, the lay out of the information in the book is very confusing. One chapter has a bunch of different topics, and it goes from pregnancy info to birth info and back to pregnancy info. It could have been organized in a much better way. Second, some of the recommendations are very conservative. The author says to never ever have caffeine - when it is ok to have a little bit. There were a few things I just didn't agree with. Plus, the information so far isn't anything I didn't know already.

When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, and More
Rating 3
The book immediately turned me off because the author, who has a PhD, seemed to feel like she had to prove herself over and over. Honestly, I thought her credentials were pretty good - worked with twins, researched it, worked at University of Michigan - but every other sentence was about proving herself. That was a turn off. The other thing I did not like was that about half the book is dedicated to diet. The author feels very strongly that the mother's weight correlates to the babies' birth weights. This may be true, but a huge emphasis was placed on diet. There are tons of recipes as well in the book. My OB told me not to worry about gaining weight, because I will gain weight, and I have. I'm a little under what the author of the book recommends, but my babies are doing great! This book does have some good information on twin pregnancies, so it worth reading.

I can't believe I haven't posted about the comments people make! Well, I will now!
I know that people don't mean any harm by saying these comments, but really, they get old and very annoying. First, so many people are just shocked when I tell them how far along I am. Even the ones who know I have twins, I tell them how many weeks I am and their jaws literally fall open. I had one woman ask me how many weeks I was and then she said, "You're gonna be HUGE!" Gee. Thanks. Really, I know I'm going to get big, I have TWINS, but no need to remind me. Doesn't help that at my work there is a girl who is about 32 or 33 weeks pregnant and she is SMALLER than I am! I know people carry different, but wow.

Then, there are the comments people love to give me when they find out I'm having twins. Probably the most common one is, "Oh you aren't going to have any free time once they arrive!" Oh gee, really?? I never thought about that once during the almost 2 years of trying to get pregnant or doing injects/IUI and having a much greater chance for twins.

And my principal. I know he means well but EVERY time I see him he makes a comment about how I'm eating for 3 or any comment that has to do with me carrying twins. At first, it was fine. But a month later??

I just remind myself that these people don't mean any harm, but it is annoying. Plus I get annoyed really quick these days, so you'd think people would think about that.

I do need to mention that today I got a really NICE comment. I was at Starbucks and the guy behind the counter asked me when I was due. I told him and prepared myself for his jaw hitting the ground. Nope! He just smiled. Then he asked if I knew the gender and I told him 2 girls, and again prepared myself for the comments. He was very sincere and told me congratulations and that 2 girls would be so fun! And that really made my day. No annoying comment! It was great!

Girls!

So, it's confirmed! 2 baby girls! The ultrasound went well today - and of course I had nothing to worry about. Even though I can't always feel them, they are very active! Everything looked great and there were NO soft markers for Downs! The u/s tech even put it on the 4d view for a bit, and we also got video of that. I am just so happy that everything went well and everything looks great! They weigh 9 and 10 oz, which is great! Baby A (Sofia) has her head right by my cervix and Baby B (Maya) has her head pretty much on top of Sofia's chest, so they are snuggled in together. I'm just so happy things are going well now!

I haven't posted anything in awhile, so I thought I would!
I also need to post some pictures on here. I'll get around to that some day!

I have 2 appointments this week. Perinatologist on Thursday - we will confirm the genders, yay! OB on Friday. Then, I'm pretty much back to the OB every 2 weeks from now on.

A little over a week ago I *really* started feeling movement! But now, I'm not feeling much. Which if course has me worried. I'm trying to tell myself that it's too early for it to be consistent or that they are facing the wrong way or something. I've felt a couple little things, but nothing like it was last week, so I think that's why I'm worried. I'll feel better Thursday!

Hubby painted the nursery over the weekend! It is a spring green color, and is very cute. Of course, we still have our computer and stuff in here, and it will look even better when we have all the baby stuff. But just painting it has me all excited!

Fires

What a week. I live in San Diego, and most of you I'm sure have seen news coverage of the fires. It is really bad here. Luckily, we didn't have to evacuate - we are in a pretty safe area, though yesterday I got a little nervous. But the winds have died down, so I'm hoping that things will be able to get under control. Most of the county has had to evacuate their homes. It's very sad, and I know lots of people who have had to evacuate.

Air quality around my house had been ok. Not great, but ok. Today, it's worse. I woke up and my house smells like a campfire! I've been staying indoors, but now my throat is fairly irritated and I've been coughing a little. I know it can't be healthy!

In baby news... I've felt them a little, but nothing like Sunday! I would to feel them more again! Hubby is getting more excited. He has now been talking to them a little through my belly :) It's very cute.

Movement!!!

So for a few weeks occasionally I've been feeling something - wasn't sure if it was movement or not. Well, tonight, I definitely am feeling movement!!! The first time felt like a muscle twitch, but kept going, then stopped and started again. I felt that a little later. Then the last time I know I felt both of them move! The last one I felt was pretty strong, a totally strange sensation! Of course, I share this with hubby, but he is not nearly as excited as I am!

I made it through my first week back to work! It's been exhausting, but I made it! I get out of breath really easy, so I make sure to take it as easy as I can. It's difficult trying to go back to a semi normal life after being in bed for 3 weeks.

It's nice that I can appreciate this pregnancy in ways that normal, "fertile" cannot. I think most women do know how much of a miracle it is to have a baby (or babies!) growing inside of you, but after trying for so long, it is special. There are things that are uncomfortable, and I'm sure will get even more uncomfortable, but I don't really complain about them, I know it comes with the territory and it is just really cool to be growing lives inside of you!

And let me just say a little about Pregnancy Brain! I have it bad. I used to be very good at spelling and grammar. Now, sometimes I can't remember how to spell certain (easy) words! And I find myself making stupid usage errors, like using "to" for "too" and not catching it until later, if ever! I think that bugs me the most, but at least I have something to blame it on!

Isn't it sad I'm second guessing posting anything? When I started this blog I really thought nobody would read. Now it seems there are quite a few people who read! I just hope anyone who reads this will kindly take the negativity elsewhere. Not that I've had any lately, but it was bad enough in the recent past.

I can't believe I'm almost 16 weeks! I'm also starting to show. And I mean show so that strangers notice! However, I've noticed a few women look at my belly and I always think about how *I* felt when I saw a pregnant woman and I wasn't pregnant. Then I feel bad. I wish at times like those I could have a shirt or something that said I struggled with infertility.

I don't have any appointments until November 8th. 3 weeks from this Thursday! I've been so spoiled with all the ultrasounds. It's been nice because I like seeing them, knowing they are ok. So I think these next few weeks may be hard. I'm going to try my best not to freak out and worry. I'm also trying not to worry about my NT scan results.

This was my first week back to work. It's been good. Tiring, but good. However, I've been telling people that I'm having twins. Usually that is fine, but a teacher at my school had triplets a few years back. I knew this, but of course then he wanted to talk about it a little bit when he found out I was having twins. Then today, the counselor came up to me and let me know her mom was a triplet. Of course, that made me sad. I know the decision I made was the right one. But it still hurts. It's not like I'm over it. I know what I did was in the best interest of my babies' health, but I am still sad. I'm sure that is to be expected, but it is difficult.

I had my follow up ultrasound today with the peri! But before I get to that, I have been up and around for 2 days no and NO spotting!!! So I'm off bed rest!

We asked the ultrasound tech if she could tell the gender, and she said she'd look, but it's not 100%. So, Baby A is a girl! Later the peri also looked and said he would bet money that Baby A is a girl!

Baby B the u/s tech said also looked like a girl! Now, when the peri looked, she wasn't cooperating, so he couldn't tell at all. So there is still a chance it might not be a girl, but I have a feeling it is! I'm a little bummed we don't have one of each, but that's ok. At least now I get to us my two favorite girl names!

Everything else looked ok. I didn't write about this before because of all the drama over my blog, but I will share it now. When I went in to the peri when I had spotting I had the NT scan done. Now, I thought it had been done *before* the reduction, but apparently not. I'm not happy about that. So because it was done after the reduction, we couldn't do the blood test part. So the results aren't all that accurate. Baby B came back with a fine ratio - nothing to worry about. Baby A has a risk of 1/248. So we are concerned. I won't do an amnio - I've had enough needles sticking in there, and I'm NOT going to have another reduction if it came back positive, so there is no point. In 3 weeks we will have another detailed ultrasound to look for soft markers. Today, they found NO soft markers, so I think that's a good sign. Also, we were talking to the peri about it (it was a different peri who did the measurements) and he did tell us that 2 of the measurements were normal, but one was higher, so they input the higher one to err on the side of caution. So I'm hoping that everything will be fine.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my OB, and the nurse practitioner already told me that he does NOT believe in the NT scan, so that was nice to hear. I love my OB and have confidence in him.

Some people asked if I would share the gender, and of course I did :) There is NO way I could NOT find out the gender because I am such a planner. I like to know and plan for things!

I hope the rest of my pregnancy goes smoothly.

I'm still on bed rest, but I'm hoping that when I go to the peri on Thursday I will be off it! Today I had an appointment with the nurse practitioner. If I had a "normal" pregnancy this would be the first standard visit. The NP was great, and she did a quick ultrasound! The beans are doing great! Also heard their heartbeats and they sounded good too! So, I am relieved and happy now. Thursday I have the peri appointment and Friday I have an OB appointment.

I'm also definitely starting to show!

Wow. Wow, wow, wow! I came across a blog of someone who frequents a great message board I go to often and have gotten tons of support from. I read a few of her entries, and can't help think, is she writing about me? She must be. I know, it's her blog and she can post whatever, but I really am amazed that someone else who is suffering from IF is that hateful. I get that some people are against abortion, and I guess no matter what, they will see it as an awful thing. For me, I am not against abortion, especially if it is for the health of the mom and other babies. This is not a discussion I ever get into with anti-abortion people because I know I will not change their minds. But I think what amazes me is that often times, these people cannot put those feelings aside and be empathetic to someone's situation. I see a lack of empathy running rampant in the world today, and it makes me sad. Without empathy, wars will continue and get worse. Society will become an even more hateful place. How do you think hate crimes happen? It's ignorance plus a lack of empathy.

It amazes me that she called me selfish (then again, maybe she didn't write about me??). I did not do this for selfish reasons. Quite the opposite! I feel it is selfish to put your babies in greater danger for disabilities. I could not risk the life of my babies plus my life just to carry 3. I know others see it a different way, and we are not going to agree on this. I do not think that people who choose to carry 3 are selfish. I think it is a totally personal decision, and one that is NEVER taken lightly.

It amazes me that people make this decision seem so simplistic. It's not. She made a comment about not telling her she hasn't been in my shoes. Well, she hasn't. You can think about what you might do in this situation, but honestly, until you have to face it, you don't know what it's like. It's JUST like infertility! How many times do we say that people who have never experienced it don't know what it's like? That is completely true! It's the same thing. This is not a simple decision, don't make it simplistic.

A side note if she is reading: I did NOT have more than 6 follies on this cycle. I had 5. Yes, I had a cycle where I did have more than 6, but I trusted my doctor. I know you trust your doctor, it is the same thing. A very small percentage of people with IUI end up with triplets. The statistics are much higher with IVF. And to the people who commented about not being able to have a differing point of view:m You CAN. But during this time I ask people to respect my blog and not post hateful comments here because I am going through a very difficult time. I would never go to another blog where someone is going through something difficult and start trying to argue with that person about their choices I didn't agree with. That's just mean. I'm all for debate and speaking your mind, but I am choosing for that not to be here right now. Plus, like I stated before, I do not get into abortion debates because it is pointless. Neither side will convince the other of anything. The one thing I can do that many people who are "pro-life" seem to not be able to do is understand their point of view. I completely understand it, but disagree.

I've had more crap dumped on me within the last day. I was going to discuss it here, but I'm going to hold off. I know she may read this and think I'm "whining" but I don't really care. It amazes me that so much can get dumped on one person, or one couple. And this is a huge reason why I don't believe in organized religion. I actually haven't believed in organized religion for a very long time, because I saw innocent people have these awful horrible things happen to them. Then I would hear people say things like, "It was God's plan." I don't buy that. I do believe in god, but not any God that is represented in the major religions today. I do not think there is a guy sitting up there deciding that this awful thing needs to happen to this child or person. That is too awful for me to believe in. And I know there are people who believe in organized religion who also do not believe this way. But many, many churches operate under this belief.

That was a huge tangent. Anyway, the point of all this is I think the world would be a much better, happier, and peaceful place if people were more empathetic to each other.

I'm back on bed rest. Monday, I got up and was moving around more and everything was fine all day - no spotting or anything. Then, in the evening, spotting. The next day, I called the peri, however mine is on vacation. The other peri wanted me to come in the following day (today). So, we went. Everything looks fine. The u/s tech was very nice and showed us everything. Heard both heartbeats! Both strong at 157 and 169 bpm. The other peri was a little odd, I didn't like him too much. He kept making "jokes" that really weren't funny. But anyway, he said I neede to continue bed rest until I've had a week with no spotting. I tried to explain to him that when I lie in bed I don't spot, it's when I move around. And he agreed and thought that made sense. But, I was still confused. How do I know when I can come off? I guess what I'll do is take a week and then get up and move around more and see if I spot. Unfortunately, my peri does not come back until I have my follow up on October 11. But, better safe than sorry!!

Thanks for all the nice comments :) The procedure was a lot less physically painful than I had imagined. Still not comfortable, but the pain was much less than my HSG was! It was a very long and rough day. We were walking out to the car, I felt something in my underwear, and it was blood. That of course freaked me out. We went back, he examined me and did an ultrasound, and everything looked ok. The peri said he may have hit a blood vessel and that could be causing the bleeding. He gave me another day of bedrest - but I was going to do 2 days anyway.

So then, during the night I woke up and my pantyliner was soaked through. It was pink but looked like it was also mixed with fluid. So we called him and luckily he was at the hospital. He said it was probably fine, but to come in and he would do an ultrasound to make me feel better. So we went in to Triage and everyone was really nice. He did the ultrasound and everything looked great. He did give me a prescription for antibiotics just in case. That made me feel better. So now I feel like I am doing everything I can to make sure everything goes well.

Emotionally, this is really rough, I knew it would be. I'm glad I have a therapist appointment coming up.

Please continue to send your good positive thoughts. I think I won't be in the clear for 2 weeks. I have a follow up with the peri in 3 weeks (he will be out of town and he wanted to do the follow up) but I do have 2 appointments with my OB before that. I just hope everything goes well and nothing bad happens. I am thinking positive, so I'm hoping that will also help.

Donna - your question was not insensitive at all! Usually, if nothing is wrong with any of them, they will take the one that is easiest to get to. I think also sometimes they would take the smaller ones. In my case, there is one that is easier to get to and the placenta is not on the front wall, which is better. They will first do an NT scan to see if there are any abnormalities, but the peri said that usually they are all healthy.

I'm just really scared and nervous right. Not sure I'll be able to sleep. Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts :) I'm not sure when I'll be up to update, but maybe later this weekend. I just hope everything goes well.

Oh, I guess I never mentioned how many we were reducing to. We are reducing to 2. Twins still have a risk, but not nearly as high as triplets. I could not reduce any further than that (unless I absolutely HAD to), and actually, none of my doctors (RE,OB,Peri) ever even brought up reducing to 1.

The nurse from the peri office called me back. Actually, *I* had to call and got transferred to her voicemail. The first time I called I asked for voicemail but the girl said she could just take the message. I had a feeling the nurse wouldn't get it. Anyway, she called back and said the only thing I could take was Motrin. But I have a feeling she didn't even consult the doctor. I really didn't feel like dealing with it anymore, so I let it go. So now, I'm just hoping I'll be ok!

Someone asked about my job and getting time off. Luckily, I am not in the classroom right now so I can actually go to doctor's appointments! That has been really helpful since I've had a million appointments! This week, I am taking a personal day on Friday and Monday. I also have tons of sick days saved up (that I will be using for maternity leave), so I'm covered! Work is actually a nice distraction! I don't think about things too much while I'm at work, so that has helped. Not sure how it will be next week though.

I've actually been ok so far this week. I think it has helped that I know the decision we made was the right one for us. Doesn't make it easier, but I'm not a wreck like I was right after the consult.

I did call the peri today to see if I could get some meds to take before to calm me down. Not sure he'll give them to me, but we'll see. I know I'll be very nervous before, so it would be nice to be able to relax a little and not have my heart racing.

I had to take a little bit of a break from even looking on here. But, I felt like today I was strong enough to deal with whatever comments I saw. I'm truly at peace (sort of) with my decision. I KNOW it is the best thing for my family. I know this deep in my heart, and it is the decision for us. Now, that doesn't mean I'm happy about having to do this! This is the worst thing I think I could go through.

I respect the anon commenter who did apologize. And trust me, I know that all my babies have heartbeats - I have seen them all. And it makes it so much harder. I cannot stand that they have to do this procedure at 12-12 1/2 weeks. That being said, this is the right decision for us. I've done lots of research and thought about all different situations. I don't find fault with people who decide to carry triplets and risk miscarrying the whole thing or risk serious birth defects, so I expect others to not judge me here.

Thank you to all of you who have been SO supportive! It really means so much to me. My appointment is Friday at 1:15, and I am terrified.

Because of the increase of rude comments, I have decided to moderate all comments. I didn't really want to have to do this. First of all, it's not like I have a ton of time to do that. Second, I normally don't want to have to moderate comments - it reminds me in a way of censorship. I would rather not have to moderate them, but for now, I'm going to. I'll still have to see any rude comments, but I also might not read or approve ANY comments for a few weeks. So, if you do comment and don't see it, just know that it is because I don't want to see anything rude.

Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive! It really has helped me, and I appreciate it so much!

Again, to the commenters: This blog is public for a reason. It's about education about infertility and support for others who are going through infertility. I already said in a previous blog entry - if you do not agree with reduction, do not post rude comments, and you don't have to read this. But this blog is public for a REASON. Again, I know people have differing views, and I already addressed that. You want to debate reduction? Go to a message board and start that topic, but don't go to people's blogs and bash people in a time when they really don't need it.

To the anon who made the RUDE comment: Honestly, I DO NOT NEED THAT! Have YOU ever been in my position? I think NOT! How DARE you judge someone when you have not even gone through ANY of what I have gone through. You have NO IDEA what I am going through and will be going through for the REST OF MY LIFE. This is not an easy decision, or one I made lightly at all. HOW DARE YOU come here and judge me. You are a sorry excuse for a person.

This is MY blog. A place for MY thoughts, feelings, and everything. You do not need to read my blog and comment on it - why make someone who is already feeling awful, feel even worse?

Over the weekend, hubby and I discussed and made our decision. We are going ahead with the reduction. It is the only thing that makes sense for us. We looked at all the statistics and everything, and we are going to do it. I'm incredibly sad that I have to be doing this. Nobody should ever have to be in this position ever. I'm scared about having the procedure - scared of it hurting, I'm scared of losing all of them, but this decision feels right for us.

I got more things straightened out with the insurance. The OB got the correct authorization codes. Then, the financial lady said it would take 3 days to go through, so I asked her if I could just schedule the appointment since it has to be done in a certain time frame. She said to have them put it in as "cash" and then they will change it. Of course, by the time she called me the appointment desk was closed so I have to call back tomorrow. Not sure what happens if they can't get me in. I really want it done on a Friday so I don't have to worry about work and what to tell people when I take 2 days off, but if I have to I will. The peri said I only need to rest for 24 hours, but I would like to rest for more - just in case.

I just can't believe this is happening to me. Why do infertiles always get the short end of the stick?

I hate my HMO!!

I hate my HMO! HATE THEM! After our visit to the peri yesterday, we were supposed to schedule our next appointment for the in depth ultrasound and possible SR. Well, they wouldn't schedule it because they needed authorization. UGH. Did my RE office ever do that? NO! They just scheduled me then got authorization. Anyway, I did what they said and called my OB to let him know they would be calling for authorization, and he knew what for as well. The peri office never called me today, so I called them. The receptionist tells me I still need authorization. I tell her it is super important I get an appointment because it HAS to be done in a certain time frame. She transfers me to their billing department. This lady says it takes 3 days. UGH. But then luckily she looks me up and an authorization has gone through. However, it is the WRONG authorization. It is for a consult!! So, I totally blame whoever called from the peri office, because they should have known! So, I call my OB and of course he isn't in. I leave a message. Luckily I got someone who seemed competent. Sometimes I don't and they mess up the messages. I made sure she put on there that this was URGENT.

Why can't they just schedule me?!?!? It makes no sense! I HATE HMOS! And why was *I* doing all the leg work? I wish all offices were like my RE office. They always got all authorizations and everything. They were great. I guess that's how it works when many of the patients pay out of pocket. I'm just so mad. I really don't need this stress on top of everything else.

I also wanted to address some of Karen's comments. Thank you for the info! I know my peri said he'd done 50 reductions, and has had 1 loss. He is sure the loss was from the reduction because the loss happened the next day. It bothers me a bit that he said he has done 50. Of course, I didn't think to ask if it was 50 total, or 50 a year. I have a feeling I will be calling him back to talk to him some more.

Peri Appointment

I had my perinatologist appointment today. I thought I would come away from the appointment with more information and a clear idea of what I wanted to do next. I was so wrong. I did get more information, but I am even more confused now. I know that he has to be impartial and not try to sway you one way or the other - I'm sure they do that for legal reasons - but it would be nice to hear their opinion.
I did get a long list of different things like preterm labor and NICU admission and it compares rates of singleton pregnancies to twins to triplets and up.

This is just so unfair that I have to make this decision. I think I am still leaning toward reduction, but I really don't want to lose the whole pregnancy. But it's not like I have a crystal ball that will tell me the future if I did decide to keep all 3. Because who knows, I could lose all or some of them, they could be born with cerebal palsy, or they could be born completely healthy. There is no way of knowing and I think that is what is driving me crazy!

So, I really have to consider not only health consequences, but also financial ones. We are planning on moving back to the midwest next summer, but if we can't sell our condo, we aren't moving. I'm not sure we could afford to live in San Diego with our mortgage and take care of 3 babies. As it is, we both have to work to pay the mortgage. Add to that the cost of daycare, and we would have no money left over.

I also do not want my babies to have to be in the NICU. They most likely will be if I continue with three. I also do not want any of them to have any disabilites like cerebal palsy. It would be heartbreaking.

I just really hate this. It's so unfair.